Re: Re: In Portland, OR, as a single father
  By: Nancy Backus to Damon A. Getsman on Thu Feb 05 2015 17:06:00

 NB> It's good you have a roof over your head, but granted, that's still
 NB> nowhere near an ideal situation...  

  It's much better than hitching it along the pacific shoreline headed for
Chile', at least.  ;)

 NB> Have you considered getting him some sort of electronic book reader,
 NB> and downloading books for him...?  Or is that out of the question
 NB> financially...?  How far away is the library...?   It's a shame that
 NB> things are less safe than they were back when I was a kid... I used to
 NB> hang out at the local library all the time, could walk there from
 NB> home... 

  Well, for now it's out of the question financially.  We've got a couple of
portable electronic devices now that are capable, but too small for easy
reading.  I'm not sure where the closest library is, just a few that I've
stumbled across.  I'll open a google maps tab for that right now, actually. 
Yeah, I used to go to one, too.  About a mile away, but I'd stay there for a
looooong time.  Plus my dad always took me there to hang out while he was
checking out stamp catalogs and value guides.  Heh.
  I'll look into finding a cheap 400MHz android ripoff tablet or something,
though.  I didn't think about that because I hate electronic format books so
much, but I don't think he'll hate it at all.  They're amazingly cost
effective, so yeah.  Thank you for the awesome idea.

 NB> Some of it is driven by the kids wanting to be involved in all sorts of
 NB> things, from music to sports to other activities.... but many parents
 NB> tend to push kids into things they aren't really all that interested in,
 NB> to be sure.  I suspect that part of it came from having smaller families
 NB> so that that sort of running around on the parents' part was even
 NB> feasible...  when you have 5 or more kids, it's harder to go in all the
 NB> different directions... and, besides, the kids have siblings to go out
 NB> and play with.  Not to say that only having one child is a problem in
 NB> itself, it just makes it more difficult to find other kids to play
 NB> with...  (Coming from someone who is the oldest of 8 kids, and ended up
 NB> only being able to have one child...)

  I've got a lot of theories on the whole thing, personally, and so does my
roommate.  One of the worst horror stories I've heard about it, though, was a
father who realized that his daughter had hit 16 years old and, at tops, had
had like 75 minutes unscheduled time before.  What kind of pressure cooker are
we putting kids like that into?  How are they going to know how to socialize? 
It just seems like an inhumane way to raise a kid, to me, and if they spend all
of their time in structured activities, how the hell are they going to get the
practice that they need to be able to deal with what the real world throws at
them out on the streets?
  Sorry about the one kid thing, if you were hoping to have more.  I want to
have a sibling for my son, other than his half sisters (in Germany), but my
life isn't nearly stable enough and I don't have a decent mother candidate in
mind.  Heh.  By the time I have all of those things squared away I'm pretty
sure I'm only going to be dating post-menopausal women.
  You're right, though.  I always hated being an only child.  It was a horror,
especially with abusive parents.

 NB> Keeping him clothed and fed and in school should go a ways in showing
 NB> that you are a proper father, however...  and the other hopefully will
 NB> come as you are better stabilized and can find a decent job...  :)

  Indeed.  I'm just glad I'm out of the phase where I feel I'm looking for the
light at the end of the tunnel, and into a phase where I actually am out in the
light, or at least close enough to it so that it's not just a dot any more.  :)
I'm really well stabilized now, for the most part, and it only gets better;
right now I'm more stable than I've been since I started college.  I've been
putting out enough code each day to keep my portfolio nice 'n full along with
applying for jobs hours every day.  I'm pretty sure with the amount of effort
that I'm putting into things that I'll have many fewer unstructured hours in my
own day very soon.  ;)

 NB> Sometimes one just has to keep plodding, one foot after another, and
 NB> hope the goal is eventually met...  :)  

  Indeed.  Drive on, soldier, drive on...
--- SBBSecho 2.27-OpenBSD
 * Origin: Tinfoil.synchro.net - now at FTN (1:340/200) (1:340/200)