Re: Re: Daughter Advice
  By: Steve Wolf to Damon A. Getsman on Wed Apr 13 2016 07:29:31

 SW> Thanks for your input. I am taking it slow with my Daughter. We are only
 SW> communicating via Facebook but I'm fine with that. I like being able to
 SW> review my messages before hitting the send button. She actually asked me
 SW> for some advice the other day regarding her job. That blew me away. I'm
 SW> just going to take it nice and easy and see where it all goes. Thanks
 SW> again.

  No problem.  You know, now that I'm sitting down and thinking about it again,
I'm realizing that I've had more than a bit of experience on the _other_ side
of this coin, as well.  Namely, I've [within the last 5 years] only just met my
biological mother and half-sister due to the fact that I was the child of a
closed adoption.  Upon realizing this, I think there's a little bit more that I
might be able to offer.  Not that what you're doing right now doesn't sound
good or anything; I think I'd be trying to take it slow and reviewing
everything, as well.
  So what I was thinking is that I did have a huge burp in communications with
my biological family after meeting them...  It should probably go without
saying, but one of the worst problems that I had during my period of getting to
know them, and learning about them, was dealing with a large amount of
[seemingly pathological] lying that was coming from them.  I think that on the
part of my biomom this probably came from a desire to step back into my life
with some bravado, or at least some decent/maybe even grandiose stories to
tell.  Either which way, though, it turned out doing nothing but eating away my
respect.  I didn't want to learn about my history and have it be glorious or
full of [fake] famous people or anything like that; all that I wanted was to
know the truth about my origins and to form a relationship with them. 
Unfortunately, one of the primary things that I've ended up realizing about
them is that they're seemingly pathological liars.
  Moral of this story is, quite simply, just tell the truth about things, and
let it stand where it stands.  It may not always be the most elegant way to
deal with things, but it's a lot better than destroying a trust or confidence
even with a seemingly white or inconsequential lie.  I'm sure you already knew
that stuff, but I wanted to mention it just in case.  There's no way to take
back those first impressions.
  Hope everything is going good for you with her!

  -D
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