-=> Quoting Damon A. Getsman to All on 05-05-16  07:02 <=-

Continuing.... :)

 DAG> Yesterday, though, when I got back from work, I heard a pretty
 DAG> disturbing tale of my son being accused of 'sexually harassing' some
 DAG> of the girls in his class.  Now this little bit is really taking the
 DAG> cake, because I'm 95% sure that my son has problems talking to girls
 DAG> about most things, and he's hyper aware of his actions when he's around
 DAG> them.  It turns out that him and some of his friends were discussing
 DAG> male genitalia and semen for some reason, and it sounds like that was
 DAG> the primary cause that they got in trouble. 

Hmmm... and perhaps the boys didn't even realize that the girls were
overhearing their discussion... or that others might also be in
earshot... 

 DAG> Now while I can understand that perhaps the topic wasn't appropriate
 DAG> for a school environment (though I personally don't believe that
 DAG> myself-- it's a school, kids are learning, and kids will talk), I
 DAG> don't think that telling a kid that it's a legal offense that could
 DAG> get them thrown into juvenile hall is the best way to deal with
 DAG> something like that. 

No... agreed with you there...  Telling a kid instead that one should be
careful what one says in public areas would be more useful and better
training for adult life....  

 DAG> It got even worse when I checked my
 DAG> voicemail last night and ended up finding out that one of the other
 DAG> parents had been around when it actually happened, and _she_ was
 DAG> calling me because she saw the instructor/supervisor there deal with
 DAG> things in an inappropriate manner, not the kids.

Worse situation, to be sure.... better for your son, though... at least
from your side of things... 

 DAG> Now this isn't the first time that I've had to deal with crap from
 DAG> this school.  I think that the truth of the matter here is that there
 DAG> are true aspects all around, and improper dealings with things all
 DAG> around, as well.  The difference being, of course, that the adults in
 DAG> the situation that are dealing with things inappropriately are serving
 DAG> as role models, and need to learn to keep their emotions under control
 DAG> when dealing with children that are supposed to be looking up to them. 

Absolutely.  Perhaps another reason to be looking for a better living
situation, so that a different school might be a possibility...?  

 DAG> I think that my son has fallen in with some bad apples, and at the same
 DAG> time he's going through such a rough and stressful few years that he's
 DAG> almost certainly acting out some on his own.  I've certainly seen bits
 DAG> of it here, as our domestic situation has failed to improve in any way.
 DAG> Unfortunately work only makes dealing with this crap harder. So now
 DAG> I have the decision about how far involved I'm going to get with all of
 DAG> this again.  Even if my son _is_ guilty of all of this stuff, I don't
 DAG> think that it was handled appropriately.  I've had to go and head off a
 DAG> bunch of this junk before, last year, when the lunch staff was
 DAG> harassing him in front of a bunch of other kids because of a paperwork
 DAG> error that had his free lunches tallying up money due incorrectly. 

There's a certain amount of going to bat for the kid that a parent just
has to do... not so much to shield him from legitimate consequences, but
more to protect him from uncalled-for harassments and unjustified
punishments... 

 DAG> Ugh.  I really just don't want to have to deal with this crap, but
 DAG> alas, I cannot let my little man deal with all of this without
 DAG> properly finding out what's going on here.

You sound to me to be a concerned and caring parent...  Normally, I'll
add, this sort of thing is a mother's job... dealing with the schools,
protecting while not pampering the child, sorting out the messes... Once
in a great while, you'll find both parents working together doing it (I
was fortunate that Richard was willing and able to help when needed,
dealing with school things and our kid)...  and sometimes, a single dad
has to do it all... you have my respect and support there...  :)

 DAG> Gah.  I've got more that I was
 DAG> going to write but I'm frustrated enough already from having to think
 DAG> about this so much for now.  I'll probably be writing more on this as
 DAG> it develops.  There's actually some other issues that I need to write
 DAG> about, too.  Not this early in the morning, though.  ;)

Hopefully things are sorting out some now...  But do feel free to keep
writing about it, and to keep us up on the developments...  Maybe some
of the dads will jump in with some help, too... I know there are a
number of y'all lurking.... ;)

ttyl          neb

... Everyone is ignorant. It just depends on the subject.

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