-=> Quoting Maurice Kinal to Nancy Backus on 09-30-06  16:31 <=-

 MK> Tell us about your teen years and then maybe there is something there
 MK> that will help you relate to the fathers of teenage daughters.
 
Dunno.  I had a pretty good relationship with my dad until I went to
college...  then I finally started to do my quiet rebellions.  We'd have
arguments in which he would get "super-logical" on me, and not listen to
any of MY reasonings (which, in most cases, looking back on it even now,
I still believe I was in the right of it), so, still wanting to be the
"good daughter", I'd just clam up and stew quietly on my own.

I think I learned to not say anything when I was quite a bit younger,
though...  The worst thing we could do as far as Daddy was concerned was
to make Mommy upset... and making any sort of scene tended to also make
her unhappy.... shrug...  also I was the oldest of eight children and
learned responsibility (of many sorts) at a very early age.

Some of my sisters were more flamboyant and out-spoken with their ways
of breaking away...

 MK> True.  I have less problems with other's children although I suspect
 MK> that the teens view me differently then they do their parents no matter
 MK> if I take their parents point of view.  The few times it happens these

My experience has been that if one is fair with kids, they respond
favorably.  This even worked when I and hubby were able to help my
youngest brother see M&D's point of view without provoking the usual
rebellions from him.

 MK> days I think the kids might even appreciate the opportunity to air
 MK> their grievances to me without taking the risk of it inadvertantly
 MK> causing a further rift in the generation gap.
 
There is that, plus, since the kid is trying to establish self as being
independent, it hardly does to agree with the parents outright, even
when they inwardly do...  An uninvolved adult is safer to agree with. :)
When they get a little older they figure out that they CAN agree and
still remain independent... 

ttyl       neb

... I'm not perfect : I'm just half blind to my faults.

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