XPost: alt.drugs.cocaine, alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, sac.politics   
   XPost: talk.politics.guns   
   From: biden.cocaine@nytimes.com   
      
   On 30 Dec 2023, "The 17th Jesus - Works For ALL The Gods."   
    posted some news:ump902$1a46j$1@dont-email.me:   
      
   >   
      
   To say we had high hopes for Hunter Biden at the dawn of 2023 would be a   
   tremendous understatement. In fact, we called our shot and preemptively   
   named him the Washington Free Beacon Man of All the Years during our 2022   
   awards.   
      
   Hunter lived up to that title in 2023—and then some. But, being an   
   esteemed publication of immense respect and integrity, we must follow the   
   rules. As Hunter is a permanent Man of the Year, we are prohibited from   
   officially honoring him again.   
      
   Thus, it is with a heavy heart that we turn away from Hunter and toward a   
   man who has absolutely nothing to do with him whatsoever: the White House   
   cokehead.   
      
   In mid-summer, a mystery unfolded at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Shortly   
   after Independence Day festivities concluded, the Secret Service announced   
   that a small bag of white powder, later determined to be cocaine, suddenly   
   materialized in a White House locker.   
      
   Interestingly enough, there were no announced suspects. As a publication   
   dedicated to shedding light on the stories that the mainstream media   
   refuse to cover, this tingled our tentacles.   
      
   Who could have possibly been so bold and careless with a pocket-sized   
   party platter of Bolivian fairy dust in the most revered building in the   
   country? Who could operate with such impunity and arrogance? Whose father   
   could simply get him out of trouble with the stroke of a pen? Did any   
   known cocaine connoisseurs have unfettered access to the Residence?   
      
   Could it be that someone so used to summer snow skiing sessions left   
   behind a baggie of go-go gadget coffee grounds at Dad's place? Would   
   someone who was once so high that he forgot to pick up an incriminating   
   personal laptop from a repair shop do such a thing?   
      
   Don't ask us. We don't know anyone who fits that description. We will not   
   irresponsibly speculate.   
      
   Under a Republican administration, such inquiries could be turned over to   
   a ribald and swashbuckling White House press corps. The blow-by-blow   
   account of the dishonorable discovery would conceive a great scandal.   
   Robust press inquiries into its origin would follow, suspects would be   
   recklessly doxxed, reputations ruined, and family members harassed by the   
   dogged press.   
      
   But these are not the glory days of journalism, dear reader. The once-   
   invigorated White House press corps has reverted to its natural   
   catamitical state of cowering to the Democratic authority. Questions about   
   the abandoned bag of magic mayhem and its owner ceased after mere hours.   
      
   As a result, we can't say who brought that coke into the White House, and   
   we certainly can't speculate that it was Hunter. But we can honor the   
   nameless White House cokehead. And we will.   
      
   For evading all scrutiny, investigation, and incarceration while retaining   
   the ability to party within the world's most secure facility, we salute   
   you, White House cokehead. You're a 2023 Washington Free Beacon Man of the   
   Year.   
      
   https://freebeacon.com/men-of-the-year/2023-man-of-the-year-the-white-   
   house-cokehead/   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)