XPost: can.taxes, can.general, ab.general   
   From: Canuck57@nospam.com   
      
   Santa will not be coming to Canada this year.   
      
   Some people couldn't stand the thought of Santa going to jail so they   
   tipped off Santa to a pending Christmas disaster.   
      
   For the CRA and Customs Canada are planning to put his ass in jail.   
   Reasons include not paying gift taxes on items over $25 and not paying   
   import tariffs, GST, PST and excise taxes.  Even a charge for driving   
   without a license and safety certificate from RIV Canada.  They already   
   have a place in impound for Rudolph, only one red light and he needs two.   
      
   CSIS is up in arms too, plastic or not, they don't want us to learn   
   about guns, even if all they do is squirt water.  An officer said, "You   
   can't teach kids to defend themselves, we might get hurt...".  They and   
   the RCMP want Santa for squirt arms violations, and are prepared to   
   taser Santa until he doesn't move.  Because they don't think you should   
   move when being electrocuted.   
      
   BC, Ontario and Quebec provincial police want Santa for all the gas   
   taxes he hasn't paid over the years.  Greenies want Santa as it isn't   
   good to eat those cookies and milk, then run up the chimney letting the   
   gas go into the atomosphere.  Canadians in Copenhagen said "We can't   
   have that methane in the air in Canada...".   
      
   Even Immigration in Canada is upset, having the deer eat and leave   
   dropping in the woods over Canada on thier well deserved breaks has the   
   immigration folks and park rangers in a snit.  Customs stated, "We need   
   Santa to say heil statism and we will give him a free pass, and if he   
   says he is liberal, we will pay him to fly Air Canada.  We can't just   
   have people go their own way even though they bare gifts and goodwill."   
      
   Passport Canada lost his records 8 times already and his application   
   still hasn't been processsed. Santa says making toys is more imortant   
   than dealing with these evil elves of Ottawa.   
      
   Plus, Santa is really peived that the corporations and governments, he   
   feels like they have to stoop to giving some days off is a crime.  Santa   
   says, "I don't mind they will not put me on the web sites, even don't   
   mind they treat Christmas as a dirty word or as an excuse to profit, but   
   not getting the spirit by Christmas eve for the kids, a real crime.   
   Even Scrooge came around."   
      
   So Santa is coming to Canada this year.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)