XPost: ba.politics, dc.media, soc.penpals   
   XPost: alt.burningman   
   From: hpark@utep.edu   
      
   The French government warns its citizens on one of its websites   
   about the dangers found in major American cities, just as our   
   government tells us where we shouldn't go outside the U.S.   
   border. Lots of people want to blow us up, cut off our heads,   
   and kidnap us. All three if possible.   
      
   The French warning about Houston, translated from the French   
   diplomatic site (with a high five to Google Translate) is as   
   follows:   
      
   As in all major cities of the United States, you should not   
   leave personal belongings in the car during the day. Be vigilant   
   when traveling at night in certain neighborhoods, Downtown, and   
   the southern and eastern parts of Houston.   
      
   Everyone knows to not leave valuables out in the open in their   
   car in Houston. Some people have had their window busted out for   
   loose change in an ashtray. It happens. Downtown and the nearby   
   Midtown area is only really sketchy if you are afraid of drunk   
   people singing Sweet Caroline in your ear and puffing on e-cigs.   
      
   Other U.S. cities, like New York City, Boston, and New Orleans   
   are singled out for crime, unsurprisingly. In Richmond, Va., the   
   French are simply advised to not visit the city on foot, which   
   should elate pedicab drivers.   
      
   Our country sounds downright vicious when you add in their   
   advisories about floods, sharks, hurricanes, earthquakes, and   
   tornadoes. And that's not even mentioning the traffic, guns, and   
   fast food. Holy dystopia! It makes me wonder how any of us live   
   past 20.   
      
   The French government nearly calls for abstaining from the whole   
   of New York City, calling for vigilance at "airports, train   
   stations, subways, restaurants, museums and some hotels."   
      
   "Do not go alone in Harlem, the Bronx and Central Park at   
   night," the website warns. You heard it here, the French are   
   about to love Brooklyn.   
      
   It's said that heavily trafficked tourist areas in New Orleans   
   are well-supervised, but the French said that north of St.   
   Charles Avenue and south of Magazine Street, there lies trouble.   
   Not a word about losing all your money at Harrah's though, or   
   partaking in too many hand grenades on Bourbon Street. You find   
   that out on your own.   
      
   Detroit gets a bad rap, with the French stating that "the center   
   is not recommended after the close of business." In fact, the   
   French advocate for staying out of almost every downtown area in   
   Big City, USA. Soon, your suburbs will be crawling with French   
   tourist traps.   
      
   As for Los Angeles, the French government implores you to watch   
   your smartphone, which could be a target for thieves, noting   
   that other valuable belongings could be fodder for pickpockets.   
   Also, be careful to not let an executive give you a development   
   deal or a reality show while in Hollywood.   
      
   http://www.chron.com/life/travel/texas/article/France-warns-its-   
   citizens-about-visiting-specific-4991047.php   
      
        
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)