XPost: alt.drugs.hard, talk.politics.drugs, alt.drugs.psychedelics   
   From: w@sted.coma   
      
   "The Merry Prankster Pope - Saint Isadore Patron Saint of the Internet"   
    wrote in message   
   news:1179289581.701770.12610@q75g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...   
   >   
   > Dr.White wrote:   
   >> "~xy~"  wrote in message   
   >> news:Mzp2i.187496$aG1.66399@pd7urf3no...   
   >> >   
   >> > "Pete nospam Zakel"  wrote in message   
   >> > news:464a2200$1@news.cadence.com...   
   >> >> In article <1179238093.966626.120180@n59g2000hsh.googlegroups.com>   
   >> > BlueInferno  writes:   
   >> >> >On May 14, 11:32 pm, p...@cadence.com (Pete nospam Zakel) wrote:   
   >> >> >> Sigh...  Where to start...   
   >> >> >*Makes wooshing motion over head*   
   >> >>   
   >> >> Sorry, wasn't familiar with his postings, and I've seen so many people   
   >> >> who   
   >> >> really do have opinions like those expressed that it was really hard   
   >> >> to   
   >> > tell   
   >> >> it was humor.   
   >> >>   
   >> >> -Pete Zakel   
   >> >   
   >> > Yep, he's  *that*  good at what he does...!!!   
   >> > He makes me smile on daze when I have no other reason to smile...   
   >> >   
   >>   
   >> All you dudes are so great, you give me a reason to type my unbridled   
   >> drug-fuelled ramblings. In fact, I was just going to tell BlueInferno:   
   >>   
   >> "Well, it's good to see that I have saved at least one person from the   
   >> horror of waking up in the gutter, penniless and dead, all because they   
   >> wanted to "freak out, man". And I should know, I've been there and worn   
   >> the   
   >> T-shirt. Yeah, that's right. I took a "magic mushroom" once, ended up in   
   >> hospital. I won't go into the gruesome details but my mom tells me that   
   >> my   
   >> heart actually stopped beating for nearly a second that night. I'm just   
   >> so   
   >> lucky that the doctors managed to get that magic mushroom out before it   
   >> could wreak even more havoc. Even now, 3 years later, I still suffer   
   >> flashbacks - like, sometimes when I've been in a hot bath, I get dizzy   
   >> when   
   >> I stand up suddenly. Many of my friends were not so lucky. One of the   
   >> guys,   
   >> he took like FOUR 'shrooms, and you could literally almost see his brain   
   >> liquefy before your very eyes etc., etc."....   
   >>   
   >> ........Then I got rumbled. Mr. Zakel handled it pretty diplomatically   
   >> though, deconstructing my post like that. Without profanity, too.   
   >>   
   >> I have to say to ~xy~, the champion of one-liners - loved the response to   
   >> the Baltimore brick dude (see above(or below)) - priceless.   
   >>   
   >> Regards,   
   >>   
   >> Dr.White.   
   >   
   > Deversifying was your worst mistake Doctor White.  Never try to   
   > diversify   
   > when out there alone.  Always call for backup in such cases.  BTW, I'm   
   > a doctor f Magnetobioloy.  What kind of a doctor are you?   
   >   
      
   Why, I'm a crustaceano-diamorphinologist. At least, I was, as this old   
   article explains......   
      
   University officials were last night "fucked off" after a starfish / heroin   
   fiasco ended with the dismissal of leading crustaceano-diamorphinologist   
   Dr.White, 34.   
      
   White, 43, misappropriated £900,000,000,000 of university funds in less than   
   a week, it is feared. Drug-crazed White, 32, bought 100,000 tons of heroin,   
   a temazepam factory, a plasma TV and several nations, including Afghanistan,   
   Burma, Laos and Cambodia, all on the university's tab, in order to "further   
   research into our crustacean brethren" claimed the deranged drug addict, 33.   
   "People see things in such narrow, four-dimensional terms" added the   
   disgraced doctor. "Animals, plants and other shit are carbon-based life   
   forms. I wanted to create a heroin-based starfish what could grow it's legs   
   back after you had smoked one of them" spouted the drug-fuelled maniac, 35.   
   "But the starfishes' DNA kept falling asleep, thus thwarting my ambition."   
   added White, 31.   
      
   Leading leaders at the prestigious Robert Mugabe University in Glasgow,   
   Scotland, England, last night pondered the gravity of the situation. "This   
   is way over our heads. We are up shit creek, and we are bereft of a paddle"   
   said Prof. Lochnessmonster, 86. "I'm going to slit my wrists, in a   
   medium-hot bath" he added, before getting into a bath. Prime Minister Tony   
   Blair, 54, confirmed that Scotland had already been sold to Japan,   
   suprisingly the world's largest haggis importer, for £50.   
      
   Japanese emperor George Hirohito, 106, when questioned over human rights   
   issues concerning the Japanese Colony of Scotland, was fast to reassure.   
   "The people of Scotland need not fear" dictated the dictator, 107. "There   
   will be work for all on the new haggis farms. But we will be forced to   
   ration the people of Scotland to only two bottles of whisky per day" he   
   added.   
      
   Scotland was invented in 1703 by English nuclear physicist Isambard Scott,   
   362, as a grazing area for sheep and haggises. Within 5 years, it was the   
   worlds largest consumer of Whisky, with the average Scottish person   
   consuming an astonishing 37 pints of whisky every day.   
      
   Dr.White.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)