140117ba   
   From: goodsoldierschweik@invalid.com   
      
   On Tue, 18 May 2010 03:00:52 -0700 (PDT), LarbGai    
   wrote:   
      
   >Thought I would keep everyone up to date on breaking news: The   
   >recession is hitting everyone.   
   >   
   >Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike   
   >on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled   
   >to   
   >in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to   
   >produce an agreement.   
   >   
   >   
   >The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number   
   >of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut   
   >by 25% this April, from 72 to 54. The rationale for the cut was the   
   >increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a   
   >subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.   
   >   
   >   
   >The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational   
   >Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was   
   >unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike   
   >action.   
   >   
   >   
   >General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are   
   >literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't   
   >ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in   
   >the teeth."   
   >   
   >   
   >Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he   
   >currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden   
   >explained,   
   >"We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is not in a   
   >position to meet their demands. They are not accepting the realities   
   >of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace."   
   >   
   >   
   >"Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of   
   >virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing   
   >expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd   
   >hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow   
   >themselves up."   
   >   
   >   
   >Spokespersons for the union in the Northeast of England, Ireland ,   
   >Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike   
   >would   
   >not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in our areas   
   >anyway".   
   >   
   >   
   >Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put   
   >down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now   
   >that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on   
   >going to paradise.   
      
      
   Luckily you are not in Denmark or someone would issue a Fatwa against   
   you :-)   
      
   Cheers,   
      
   Schweik   
   (goodsoldierschweikatgmaildorcom)   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)