XPost: rec.music.country, alt.music.lyrics, alt.atheism.satire   
   XPost: us.politics   
   From: Jas.HoggNO@SPAM.gmail.com   
      
   Abstinence Alaska-Style   
      
   Well those cold Alaskan winters   
   leave you feelin' dank and bitter   
   and a teenage redneck's instinct is   
   to seek out girls 'n' heat.   
   When he left the rink frustrated   
   after chasing that old puck around   
   he passed the ladies' locker room   
   to see who he might meet.   
      
   When his avid eyes met Bristol's   
   well it made him cream his Levi's,   
   but the well-brought-up young girl observed,   
   "You've just made God irate.   
   It's a sin to spill your seed like that   
   'cause every sperm is sacred.   
   For the Palin creed says: Don't come off   
   except to procreate."   
      
   He said, "Abstinence just makes a young man's   
   heart grow even fonder."   
   "And a celibate," the girl agreed,   
   "has less to celebrate."   
   "But I don't want kids," he said,   
   "for me a family has no value."   
   "Let's play Vatican roulette," she said,   
   "although it's our first date."   
      
   Up in heaven, the Great Croupier   
   was watching as they gambolled,   
   as they gambled with their future   
   'neath the cold Alaskan sky.   
   And He earmarked two choice gametes   
   to unite and bless their union,   
   and another shotgun wedding   
   was conceived by God on High.   
      
      
   James Hogg   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)