XPost: rec.pets.dogs.health, rec.pets.dogs.behavior, alt.animals.dog   
   XPost: alt.med.veterinary   
   From: TheAmazingPuppyWizard@Mail.Com   
      
   HOWEDY david,   
      
   "David Sherman"  wrote in message   
   news:BF60C0E2.11F0%possible20@possible20.org...   
   > Hello all.  I've been reading but staying away from posting.   
      
   Because every time you post The Amazing Puppy Wizard makes   
   you LOOK like a dog abusing mental case like the rest of the posters   
   here. Isn't that correct, david.   
      
   > I have a problem with my 2 year old Poodle/ Golden mix.   
      
   Naaah?   
      
   > If I didn't know any better,   
      
   You don't, david, otherWIZE you wouldn't be postin here.   
      
   > I'd say she's been taking speed ... Or at least diet pills.   
      
   You mean she can't sleep or do you mean she's   
    HYPERACTIVE and HOWETA CON-TROLL, david?   
      
   > Seriously, for the past three days she has had a kind of nervous energy   
   > that's starting to trouble me a little.  She seems nervous, puzzled, and   
   > can't relax.  She paces a lot home  and when she's resting she seems to   
   >  move from one place to another with greater frequency than usual.   
      
   Ooops! Sounds like she's got sumpthin seriously wrong.   
      
   OR SHE'S GOT AN OCD like many of the dogs here...   
      
   There are  biophysical reasons HOWE COME  MOST   
   OF HOWER DOG LOVER'S DOGS ARE breakin   
   DHOWEN DYIN an DROPPIN DEAD from STRESS   
   INDUCED AUTO-IMMUNE DIS-EASE aka The Puppy   
   Wizard's SYNDROME.   
      
   > At first I thought she had an upset stomach.  When that happens   
      
   Dogs don't USUALLY GET upset stomaches UNLESS   
   they're HYPERACTIVE and HOWETA CON-TROLL.   
      
   >  she usually starts smelling and sniffing almost compulsively.   
      
   You think that's a SYMPTOM of an upset stomach???   
      
   > But it has gone beyond this now and for the past three   
   >  days,  she's been out of her mind a little.   
      
   I'd BET she's been "SICK" a lot longer than three days.   
      
   > Her pooping and peeing and eating is all normal.  She runs   
   > with her friends at the park for an hour to hour and a half   
   > every day.   
      
   OtherWIZE she's HOWETA CON-TROLL, david? Sounds   
   like your dog is HYPERACTIVE and HOWETA CON-TROLL   
   because she's ABUSED, david.   
      
   DECENT PEOPLE DO NOT POST HERE.   
      
   > She is in pretty good  shape physically.   
      
   Because you need to give her EXXXCESSIVE EXXXORCISE   
   to FORCE CON-TROLL of her HYPERACTIVE behaviors, david.   
      
   > It is a school yard, so there is the possibility that she got   
   > into some food without me seeing.  Or some soda or a candy bar.   
      
   You're gonna have a very close relationship with your   
   vet JUST LIKE professor SCRUFF SHAKE dermer   
   had with his HYPERACTIVE HOWETA CON-TROLL   
   dog Maxie The Magnificent FuriHOWESLY Obsessive   
   Compulsive Masturbator, david.   
      
   > My question is:  can a candy bar or soda or anything else   
   >  she ingested have this great an impact?   
      
   Chocolate can KILL a dog but she's large enough she   
    shouldn't have a problem from a kid size candy bar.   
      
   > Is there a medical condition that speeds dogs up instead of slow them   
   > down?   
      
   Yeah. It's CALLED The Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME, david.   
      
   > I'm getting to my wits end.   
      
   You had your opportunity long ago, david.   
      
   > She has been impossible to walk with all the pulling and   
   >  sniffing, and I'm starting to get angry at her, which I'm sure   
   > isn't helping the situation.   
      
   INDEED?   
      
   > Sorry for the length of this, but I sure could use   
   > some  of the good  knowledge of this group.   
      
   THAT'S HOWE COME YOUR DOG IS HOWETA CON-TROLL.   
      
   > Thanks.   
      
   I've got a very good EXXXPLANATION of  the SYNDROME   
   your dog is goin through about half way down the page JUST IN   
   CASE you think you've already seen the following:   
      
                    Punishment Deranges Behavior.   
            "NO!" Does NOT Have Any Behavioral Function   
                            EXCEPT   
                      To DERANGE Behaviors.   
      
   Here's professor dermer pryor:   
      
   From: Marshall Dermer (der...@alpha1.csd.uwm.edu)   
   Subject: Re: Jerry's Dog Training Manual   
   Date: 2001-07-12 06:49:13 PST   
      
        And how do we know this aspect of his   
        advice is right?   
      
        Jerry is not God and his manual is not the Bible.   
        His advice could be subject to an empirical analysis.   
      
        (Also, it is best to killfile posts from the   
        few regulars here who are either ill-tempered,   
        ill-mannered, or just plain ill.­),   
      
        --Marshall   
      
   "At this point, "No" does not have any behavioral function.   
   But, if you say "No,"pick up the puppy by its neck and   
   shake it a bit, and the frequency of the biting decreases   
   then you will have achieved too things.   
      
   First, the frequency of unwanted chewing has decreased;   
   and two, you have established "No" as a conditioned punisher.   
      
   How much neck pulling and shaking? Just the   
   minimum necessary to decrease the unwanted   
   biting.   
      
   **********IS THAT A CONSISTENT 5 SECONDS?************   
      
   When our dog was a puppy, "No" came before mild   
   forms of punishment (I would hold my dog's mouth   
   closed for a few seconds.) whereas "Bad Dog" came   
   before stronger punishement (the kind discussed above).   
      
   "No" is usually sufficient but sometimes I use "Bad Dog"   
   to stop a behavior. "Bad Dog" ALWAYS works," marshall   
   dermer, research professor of ANAL-ytic behaviorISM at   
   UofWI. For MOORE animal abuse, please visit dr p.   
      
   BWAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!!   
      
   That's INSANE. Ain't it.   
      
   Here's professor dermer AFTER gettin JERRYIZED:   
      
       "We Are Lucky To Have You, And More People Should   
       Come To Their Senses And Support Your Valuable Work.   
       God Bless The Puppy Wizard," Professor Marshall Dermer,   
       Dept Of ANAL-ytic Behavior, UofWI.   
      
    From: "Marshall Dermer"    
    To: "The Puppy Wizard"   
       
    Sent: Friday, July 23, 2004 2:53 PM   
      
    Subject: God Bless The Puppy Wizard   
    Dear Mr. Puppy Wizard,   
      
    I have, of late, come to recognize your genius   
    and now must applaud your attempts to save   
    animals from painful training procedures.   
    You are indeed a hero, a man of exceptional talent­,   
    who tirelessly devotes his days to crafting posts ­to   
    alert the world to animal abuse.   
      
    We are lucky to have you, and more people should   
    come to their senses and support your valuable   
    work.   
      
    Have you thought of establishing a nonprofit   
    charity to fund your important work?   
    Have you thought about holding a press conference   
    so others can learn of your highly worthwhile   
    and significant work?   
      
    In closing, my only suggestion is that you   
    try to keep your messages short for most   
    readers may refuse to read a long message   
    even if it is from the wise, heroic Puppy Wizard.   
    I wish you well in your endeavors.   
      
    --Marshall Dermer   
      
      
   Subject: < BEFORE ->  "Jerry, You filthy, Unctuous,   
                         No Good Charlatan,"   
      
   < AFTER ->  "Thank You Jerry For Putting Up With   
               A Constant Barrage Of Really Infantile   
               Crap At The Hands Of Supposedly Adult   
               Dog Lovers.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)