daef8d09   
   From: sdtilson@charter.net   
      
   On Saturday, April 16, 2011 12:52:32 AM UTC-4, Dark Lord Karno Dal wrote:   
   > His "eyes" cleared slowly, hazy light flowing into them as he roused   
   > from his sleep.  The air surrounding him was acrid and uninviting to   
   > his nose.  "Holy crapola" Chris-Doll swore, flopping his stuffed hand   
   > in front of his button nose.  "This place stinks worse than the   
   > prequels.  Karno must be farting in his sleep ... again."   
   >   
   [snip]   
   >   
   > Karno grunted in agreement.  The lack adversaries had its roots in a   
   > number of issues.  Foremost, after the prequels began turning the once-   
   > loved Star Wars saga into a rapidly-growing-out-of-control grease   
   > fire, more and more of the faithful began abandoning the RASS system.   
   > Additionally, changes in the way the system was governed and regulated   
   > further lessened the chances that anything in the arena of off-the-   
   > wall fun might happen.   
   >   
   > As the citizens of RASSM City grew tired of the mayhem caused by the   
   > Sith Wars in general and the Sith Warriors in specific, the calls for   
   > the city's government to do something grew louder.  Mayor Handley and   
   > the RASSM Senate eventually called upon Ghost Jedi Yoda and Mace Windu   
   > to address the problem.  Along with Ghost Jedi Dalbey, they proceeded   
   > to officially found the RASSM Jedi Council.  They then recruited   
   > (formerly rogue) Jedi Nolan, Jedi Chitwood, (formerly dark) Jedi   
   > Maximi, Jedi Al, and Sir Cumference, to officially round out the   
   > order.  Bolstered by a number of newbiewans (or padawan newbies), they   
   > pledged to restore peace and order to the RASSM Republic.   
   >   
   > Bolstered by the RASS Jedi to act as its police force, the RASSM   
   > Senate passed the Sith Warrior Registration Act, which formally   
   > required all those who had fought in any of the twenty-two Sith Wars   
   > to register with the RASS System on pain of death.  Further, they   
   > would have to apply to the Senate's Bureau of Sith War Veterans'   
   > Affairs for travel permits before leaving their appointed residences,   
   > providing a full and complete itinerary from which they could not   
   > deviate, in order to eliminate the chance that any Sith Warriors might   
   > inadvertently run into each other and ignite another conflict.  As the   
   > reality of the situation set in, the once-mighty Sith warriors   
   > gradually turned their attentions to more mundane pursuits.   
   >   
   > Gerthein, Bas-Jan, Jill-Marie, S1620, and Inertia were elected to the   
   > RASSM Senate, and have all gone on to become members of Mayor   
   > Handley's cabinet.   
   >   
   > Rather than building a military empire, Dark Jaames C'Ewok set his   
   > sights on building a commercial empire.  He started a madly successful   
   > chain of Chinese restaurants (James C. Wok) and a highly successful   
   > breakfast cereal (frosted C'Ewoky Charms, they're magically   
   > malicious!).  He currently runs RASSM's equivalent of QVC and owns   
   > property throughout vital areas of the system.   
   >   
   > Sara "Sal" Waterfall returned to her roots by becoming C'Ewok's number   
   > two. She now intimidates and/or crushes all opposition in the board   
   > room, and is in charge of breaking up and selling off acquired   
   > corporate entities.  She's currently rated #2 on Death Star Magazine's   
   > list of the most powerful corporate executives in the system.   
   >   
   > James Trory sought to attain power through legitimate means,   
   > converting the JTFC from a revolutionary force into the 107th largest   
   > political party in the RASSM senate (the Trory Party).  He has also   
   > tried his hand at commercial endorsements. (Karno cringed as he   
   > remembered a few lines from Trory's latest ad:  "Hi, I'm Sith Master   
   > James Trory, and my powers within the dark side have greatly   
   > increased ... since I started raising Alpacas.")   
   >   
   > The Porkenites caused quite a stir when they turned their backs on   
   > their former idol and went on The Biggest Loser as a group ... and   
   > won.   
   >   
   > Usher has created a pocket industry for himself in outfitting and   
   > creating tours and events for the growing and somewhat silly legion of   
   > Sith War reenactors.   
   >   
   > Gretel Many and Crunchy have gone on to become action heroes.  Look   
   > for Gretel to star in the latest Tom Clancey Jack Ryan sequel, coming   
   > next year.   
   >   
   > Daniel Miller and the Screaming Gundarks, along with Gray Leader, have   
   > become champion pilots in the system's new stock ship racing league,   
   > known as "RASSCAR."   
   >   
   > Dark Rendar and Barq gained even greater fame when they won the first   
   > season of the RASS System's talent competition: Dancing with the Star   
   > Wars.   
   >   
   > Chris Hawkins and his crew have become successful spokeswookiees for   
   > Rogaine.   
   >   
   > Nogrin Dou, Dark Bith of the Sith, launched his own successful   
   > networking company, Sun Crusher Microsystems, that provides internet   
   > connectivity to the majority of the RASS System.   
   >   
   > Grand Admiral/Dark Lord Kallas converted his fleet of ISDs into the   
   > systems largest porn studio and currently produces the "Red(Green/Blue/   
   > etc.) Lekku Bonanza" line of Twi'Lek porn flicks that Chris-Doll loves   
   > so much.   
   >   
   > Politicratus McEwok opened up "Twin Shield Generators," a chain of   
   > Ewok-staffed breastaurants serving their own brand of what they call   
   > "yub grub."   
   >   
   > JavaJawa started a company (the Utinni Corporation) that is now the   
   > system's largest supplier of sporks, spork accessories, and second-   
   > hand droids.   
   >   
   > Some Sith Warriors refused to go gently into the night.  Steve Tilson,   
   > Jade, Darth Gumby, and the Happy Butcher, refused to submit to the   
   > Act, and disappeared into wildspace, beyond the system's borders.   
   > Rakelle, former JTFC member and later galactic diety, finally gave up   
   > the mortal plane and became one with the Force.   
   >   
   > The great mass of Sith Warriors ... some say the smarter Sith   
   > Warriors ... (Rimrunner, Cheetah, Drake, and Dannnik Jericho among   
   > their number) retired to ordinary lives and lived happily ever after.   
   >   
      
   Is... is this the last Sith War post ever?   
      
   Because this one makes me cry.   
      
   Steve Tilson   
   - it's pretty unsightly   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)