From: julie@pascal.org   
      
   On Sunday, August 31, 2014 7:03:10 PM UTC-6, Kevin C wrote:   
   > On Sunday, August 31, 2014 2:57:19 PM UTC-4, J.Pascal wrote:   
   >    
   > > Do you think that even big name authors don't make habitual writing   
   mistakes?  This is what editors are for.  Copy editors to fix the small stuff   
   and Editors to catch the huge clinkers and structural errors. Fresh eyes,   
   because the author knows what    
   they wrote and often reads what they know they wrote, even if it didn't get on   
   the page.    
   >    
   >    
   >    
   > Not of this scope. For example, a fantasy mystery written in the first   
   person. I wanted a strong hook, and started immediately after the incident   
   that initiated the mystery. Nothing wrong there, right? It's traditional in   
   mysteries. Plus there's a lot    
   going on that I thought would bring the reader up to speed with key fantasy   
   aspects of the story. However, it created an unsalable manuscript.   
   >    
   >    
   >    
   > First, I failed to establish setting or genre in the first sentences.   
   Second, I failed to establish exactly who the protagonist and his men were.   
   Third, I introduced six or seven named characters in two paragraphs. I really   
   doubt the slushpile readers    
   got beyond that first scene. Worse, *I didn't catch this when I edited it.*   
   And I edited it several times, for I couldn't make up my mind to use first or   
   third person, and eventually settled on first.   
   >    
   >    
   >    
   > Now, this is all beginner's stuff. Yet it went completely over my head.   
   Plus, test readers later said that it opened too slowly, so if the poor   
   slushpile reader got beyond that first scene, they probably set it aside after   
   the second. However, if those    
   readers had not pointed out those problems in the first scene, I would have   
   remained oblivious.   
      
   At this point, honestly, I think the problem is hubris.   
      
   I'll say this once.  Beta readers are almost always wrong about what is   
   wrong.  All they can tell you is that something is wrong... and even then,   
   half the time they're wrong about that, too, because you've asked them to   
   critique instead of read. My    
   experience with critiques from other writers who ought to know something is   
   that "too fast" or "too slow" can mean the same thing or opposites.    
      
   If you tried to put too much information in the first scene it can "read" as   
   too slow even if the solution to make it "faster" is to take half the   
   information out and slow it down.   
      
   Setting and genre *in the first sentence*... really?  Soon, yes. But "first   
   sentence" is just crazy talk.  My favorite first sentence ever? "There are   
   some mistakes that "Oops" just doesn't cover."  Can you tell me the setting or   
   the genre?  Of course    
   you can't.   
      
   -Julie   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)