From: nicky.matthews@btinternet.com   
      
   On Monday, September 8, 2014 12:01:02 PM UTC+1, Jymesion wrote:   
   > I'm trying a writing exercise re: descriptions. I can picture this but   
   >   
   > don't know if it'd click with anyone else:   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   > He smoothed his tie in his best Mr. Super-Suave manner as he strolled   
   >   
   > over to her desk.   
   >   
   Is this alt history?   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   > My back-brain is yelling about how horrible it is, but it fits all the   
   >   
   > guidelines I'm trying to follow.   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   > Also, only semi-related:   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   > (Secretary) "Is it interesting?"   
   >   
   > (Him) "Angling for a loose lips bonus?" He twirled the flash drive   
   >   
   > before stuffing it into his shirt pocket. "You know I love you, dear,   
   >   
   > but I'm not about to break secrecy regs just so you can get a new   
   >   
   > car."   
   >   
   I think i need more detail for 'twirling flash drive' to work. I am trying to   
   reconcile that element of relative modernity with the 'dear' etc.   
   >   
   > I know, I know, it sounds like a character out of a cheesy 1960s   
   >   
   > movie, but I got into the mode . . .   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   > Anyway, my question for that is whether it's obvious that they're   
   >   
   > talking about a company program which rewards people who can weasel   
   >   
   > secrets out of other employees.   
      
   I don't think it is clear but there is enough to keep me interested if it is   
   alt history. I'm not sure I'd believe it were a version of now/future - the   
   language is wrong unless Mr Super Suave is delusional.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)