From: siegel@acm.org   
      
   On Monday, September 8, 2014 7:01:02 AM UTC-4, Jymesion wrote:   
   > I'm trying a writing exercise re: descriptions. I can picture this but   
   >    
   > don't know if it'd click with anyone else:   
   >    
   >    
   >    
   > He smoothed his tie in his best Mr. Super-Suave manner as he strolled   
   >    
   > over to her desk.   
   >    
   >    
   >    
   >    
   >    
   > My back-brain is yelling about how horrible it is, but it fits all the   
   > guidelines I'm trying to follow.   
   >    
   "Mr. Super-Suave" does work if you are trying to ironically suggest that this   
   character is not nearly as polished (and perhaps not as attractive to women) as   
    he thinks that he is. If that isn't what you intend, this needs work IMO. The   
   other poster has a point about too many S sounds, but that should be easy to   
   change, and didn't seem too horrid to me in any case.   
      
   >    
   > Also, only semi-related:   
   >    
   > (Secretary) "Is it interesting?"   
   >    
   > (Him) "Angling for a loose lips bonus?" He twirled the flash drive   
   > before stuffing it into his shirt pocket. "You know I love you, dear,   
   > but I'm not about to break secrecy regs just so you can get a new   
   > car."   
   >    
   > I know, I know, it sounds like a character out of a cheesy 1960s   
   > movie, but I got into the mode . . .   
   >    
   It wasn't clear to me just what a "loose lips bonus" was, i suspected a reward   
   for reporting violations of security rules. But the details may not matter. I   
   did think that when he twirled the flash drive he ought to twirl his mustache   
   also, but if you    
   intend this to be a bit campy, fine.   
      
   -DES   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)