From: nicky.matthews@btinternet.com   
      
   On Tuesday, September 9, 2014 11:01:02 AM UTC+1, Jymesion wrote:   
   >   
   > > but there is enough to keep me interested if it is alt history.    
   >    
   > >I'm not sure I'd believe it were a version of now/future - the language   
   >    
   > > is wrong unless Mr Super Suave is delusional.   
   >    
   >    
   >    
   > It's more that's he's playing, over-the-top flirting with someone   
   >    
   > who'll never take him seriously.   
      
   How objectionable do you want him to be for the reader? Do you want him to   
   seem like a dick? Also why is he referencing such ancient actors if he is a   
   youngish man? Why is the secretary not responding to his retro language and   
   intrusive behaviour? She    
   seems fairly hostile but then gives away quite a lot of information which   
   suits the need of the scene but makes her a hard-to-imagine character. It may   
   not matter if she is only in this scene but it does feel a bit like an info   
   dump.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)