From: nicky.matthews@btinternet.com   
      
   On Sunday, September 14, 2014 3:49:38 AM UTC+1, Jymesion wrote:   
   >   
   > Would this help --    
      
   substantial snippage.   
      
   Not really. It makes even less sense that he would pretend to flirt with   
   someone with whom he was pretending not to have a relationship.  Her early   
   hostility is understandable  but not her later ease. If it were me writing   
   this I think I'd be trying to    
   establish two things - tension and desire. They really want what the company   
   offers - is the office amazingly glamorous? Don't they feel privileged to be   
   there but fearful of being caught out? Don't they really, really want to   
   impress and be accepted?    
   Then presumably they still really want each other but can't let that leak.    
   This scene should to my mind jangle with tension and unease and I don't think   
   it does right now.    
      
   As always take my view with a pinch of salt: it isn't my story.   
      
   Nicky   
   >    
   >    
      
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