From: nicky.matthews@btinternet.com   
      
   On Sunday, September 14, 2014 8:12:04 PM UTC+1, Jymesion wrote:   
   > On Sun, 14 Sep 2014 06:16:23 -0700 (PDT), Nicky   
   >    
   >  wrote:   
      
   > I don't think 'caught out' is exactly right. The company had to know   
   >    
   > before hiring them that they were a couple, just as a lot of others.    
   >    
      
   OK but from a story telling point of view it has to work for the reader. I am   
   not able to infer what the company thinks reading your extract because I don't   
   even know about the company yet. Whatever rationale you have to justify this   
   exchange it has to    
   work on the page. I don't know what surrounds this extract - that is always   
   the trouble with extracts- but it is an incredibly common failing with people   
   who world build, that the world, so vibrant, complex and logical in their   
   heads is not realised to    
   the full extant within their story. ( Trust me on this, I am not without   
   experience.)   
   I am making the point that none of the things you have told me about are there   
   in this particular extract and all I'm seeing is a bloke being a dick and a   
   woman being inconsistent.  All the other stuff is great - but if it isn't   
   there for the reader to    
   apprehend it may as well not exist : )   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)