From: john.w.kennedy@gmail.com   
      
   On 2015-07-22 18:52:03 +0000, William Vetter said:   
      
   > Michelle Bottorff wrote:   
   >> Jim Hetley  wrote:   
   >>   
   >>>> Do you think it's more accessible to the reader if the last line is   
   >>>> changed to:   
   >>>>   
   >>>> "He's right," Miller said, "that's what you say to a girl," because he   
   >>>> had sort of called the kid Miss.   
   >>   
   >> I find this addition bit awkward, somehow.   
   >> I don't think I'm happy with either the placement or the phrasing.   
   >>   
   >> "...sort of called the kid [specific word]" just seems problematical.   
   >> Did he call the kid 'Miss' or not?   
   >> I'm guessing a translation including 'Miss' wouldn't be very literal?   
   > No.  I don't comprehend much of the language, but for my purpose, I   
   > looked up "What is your name?" in some tourist phrasebooks, and this is   
   > a mixture of the way English pronounciation was rendered in two of   
   > them.  There are at least 4 forms of this phrase, and when it begins   
   > with Cho, it is a formal way to say it to an apparently unattached   
   > woman, perhaps somewhat flattering if the woman is middle aged.   
   >   
   > I think the third word should be pronounced closer to "ten."   
   >   
   >> If only one word is wrong, could you say:   
   >> "He's right,"  Miller said.   "xxx is what you say to a girl, you should   
   >> have used xxx instead," or something of the sort?   
   >>   
   >>   
   >> Also, if you have the translation as part of the third person narration,   
   >> I think it really ought to go immediately following the foriegn words.   
   >>   
   >> He turned to back to the kid.  "Ko thane la zee?"  Which means, roughly,   
   >> "...."   
   >>   
   >> It just feels more natural to me to have it right away.  Explaining the   
   >> response with a semi-translation but not the original phrase just seems   
   >> off somehow.  IMHO.   
   >>   
   >>> I'd like more of a translation, perhaps Miller mocking the journalist with   
   >>> the literal version.   
   >>   
   >> I don't mind not getting any translation myself.  The original worked   
   >> fine for me except that I wasn't sure immediately how to assign the   
   >> "that" in  "That's what you say to a girl."  I floundered a bit trying   
   >> to connect it up.   
   >   
   > Please don't flounder.   
   >   
   > It's an extended vignette that relies on familiar Nam movie images in   
   > place of setting description & extensive characterization.  More   
   > complication won't make it better; it will only make it longer.  I   
   > think.   
   >>   
   >> "You said that like you were talking to a girl," would have been much   
   >> clearer.   
      
   I don't speak a word of Vietnamese, but I believe   
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_grammar#Kinship_terms   
   illustrates what's going on.   
      
   --   
   John W Kennedy   
   A proud member of the reality-based community.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)