From: goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu   
      
   In article ,   
     wrote:   
   >If there's any chance this group is going to come back, I'd like to   
   >take advantage of it by picking your brains.   
   >   
   >I'm working on something a little odd for me. Especially vexing is I'm   
   >not sure about the punctuation of the first sentence. I'd really hate   
   >to turn off a reader by starting out with a stupid mistake.   
   >   
   >*****   
   >   
   >Jeremy tasted shadows as an echo flew past, leaving the smell of   
   >bright yellow in its wake.   
   >   
   >*****   
   >   
   >It seems to me the first sentence needs that comma, but it doesn't   
   >really look right to my eye. Hopefully, someone far more knowledgeable   
   >will weigh in.   
      
   The comma is fine. It changes the flow of the sentence compared to how   
   things would read without it; it's not required there, but it isn't   
   wrong either. If you prefer how the sentence reads with it in -- and   
   truth to tell, I do too -- then have it by all means.   
      
   >Other than that, how off-putting is it that it's just some nondescript   
   >people sitting around talking?   
      
   I'm not put off in the least. This seems like an interesting situation   
   and I'd keep reading.   
      
   --   
      David Goldfarb          |   
   goldfarbdj@gmail.com       |        "It's flabby and delicious."   
   goldfarb@ocf.berkeley.edu  |   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)