From: djheydt@kithrup.com   
      
   In article ,   
     wrote:   
   >If there's any chance this group is going to come back, I'd like to   
   >take advantage of it by picking your brains.   
   >   
   >I'm working on something a little odd for me. Especially vexing is I'm   
   >not sure about the punctuation of the first sentence. I'd really hate   
   >to turn off a reader by starting out with a stupid mistake.   
   >   
   >*****   
   >   
   >Jeremy tasted shadows as an echo flew past, leaving the smell of   
   >bright yellow in its wake.   
   >   
   >"I . . . I'm sorry," he said. "I don't think I understood the   
   >question." The five people at the table at the other end of the room   
   >seemed even less impressed with him than when the interview started.   
   >He hoped they might take his moment of confusion for simple anxiety,   
   >but he doubted that was a good alternative.   
   >   
   >"What just happened, Mr. Wildepad?" the man in the middle asked. His   
   >dark blue suit, graying hair, and crisp way of speaking marked him as   
   >an old-school CEO.   
   >   
   >"Nothing. Just fighting a hiccup." To help him concentrate, he gripped   
   >the arms of his chair and focused on the wall behind them. "You asked   
   >why I left Yorkshire. I think there must be some mistake. I've never   
   >been there."   
   >   
   >"The question was a distraction," said the man to the CEO's right. He   
   >looked like an accountant, a tight-fisted one who brooked no nonsense   
   >when it came to numbers or responsibility. "What is important is what   
   >you felt the moment I asked it."   
   >   
   >Jeremy glanced at the other man and the two women at the table,   
   >vaguely hoping one of them might tell him what they expected him to   
   >say. Instead of help, he found scrutiny, as if they wondered if he was   
   >a bug worth dissecting.   
   >   
   >"There was a sort of a ripple in the air and an odd smell. It was gone   
   >before I realized it was happening. I know that doesn't make sense,   
   >but I can't really describe it."   
   >   
   >"A synth-sur formative!" the older woman said angrily, turning toward   
   >the accountant. "You know the rules, Benedict. Nothing that can damage   
   >the furniture. That chair is over three hundred years old. I'd never   
   >be able to replace it."   
   >   
   >"I focused it tightly. At worst, it would have aged it a little more."   
   >   
   >*****   
   >   
   >It seems to me the first sentence needs that comma, but it doesn't   
   >really look right to my eye. Hopefully, someone far more knowledgeable   
   >will weigh in.   
   >   
   >Other than that, how off-putting is it that it's just some nondescript   
   >people sitting around talking?   
   >   
   >Any other observations/insights/epiphanies welcome.   
      
   I consider that the punctuation is just fine.  The guy appears to   
   be experiencing synesthesia.  If it's something else, and if it   
   was forced upon him, that's another matter; but that doesn't   
   affect the correctness of the first sentence.   
      
   --   
   Dorothy J. Heydt   
   Vallejo, California   
   djheydt at gmail dot com   
   www.kithrup.com/~djheydt/   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)