From: NoReplies@jymes.com   
      
   On Mon, 27 Aug 2018 18:27:27 GMT, djheydt@kithrup.com (Dorothy J   
   Heydt) wrote:   
      
   >In article <2398odd30t9kf9vh2nlsta2l0q48d5v71h@4ax.com>,   
   >  wrote:   
   >>I should have also added that this is a job interview -- did that come   
   >>across at all, or do I have to be more blunt about it?   
   >   
   >No, it didn't, but after that hook, it is likely that most   
   >readers would keep reading.  You might take less time to indicate   
   >that it's a job interview ... a couple of paragraphs, rather than   
   >a couple of screensful.  Consider how much information you *need*   
   >to get across before the action (which I assume is his getting   
   >hired to undergo even further atrocities) begins.   
      
   I'd probably do it by changing the line: 'The five people at the table   
   at the other end of the room seemed even less impressed with him than   
   when the interview started.' Simply making it 'job interview' doesn't   
   seem right because I don't associate 'job' with being interviewed by   
   execs.   
      
   A couple of paragraphs on, he asks if the company develops weapons,   
   and a few paragraphs after that he's asked what kind of position he   
   expects.   
      
   Eight hundred words into the story is: He fought the urge to stand up   
   and walk out. With graduation close and entry-level openings virtually   
   non-existent, failing to land this job probably meant starting his   
   career by flipping burgers. What was he willing to do for a position   
   with a company so generous they offered to pay off his student loans   
   in exchange for never telling anyone they interviewed him? "Anything,"   
   he said. "As long as the instructions are clear, I'll do my best even   
   if I don't know why I'm doing it."   
      
   I feel, though, it needs to be understood from the start he's there   
   for a job.   
      
   Some tinkering is needed, and unfortunately, such things always end up   
   being obviously shoehorned hatchet jobs.   
      
   The 'synth-sur formative' is a gentle form of flash-bang grenade -- a   
   pulse induces synesthesia for less than a second, totally distracting   
   the enemy, and then it takes most people a minute or so to recover   
   from the sensation. It's much safer than a grenade because there's no   
   physical harm or lasting effect. It's much less effective because of   
   the short time span.   
      
   He's being hired because he's relatively immune -- it affected him   
   only during the height of the pulse, and he recovered almost instantly   
   without any training.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)