From: bobthrollop@gmail.com   
      
   On Friday, December 14, 2018 at 7:40:04 PM UTC-8, Brian P. wrote:   
      
   > [...]   
   > My motivation is that I'm trying to make myself look at the work in   
   > progress through other eyes.  The scene I'm lately having difficulty   
   > with--why is it in the story, and what needs to happen to E. in the   
   > scene?   
   >    
   > I'm struggling to describe just what needs to happen for story   
   > purposes; how it will play out; and consequently, how it will be   
   > described.  And make all that consistent with the evolving character   
   > arcs.   
   >    
   > I decided that my heroine needs a reason to get involved in the   
   > struggles that follow.  This is about the third chapter, and the   
   > second plot twist.  She was introduced to a foreign world in the first,   
   > and in the second she grew dissatisfied with her mundane life.  Now,   
   > she gets a chance to go back to that world and a cause to fight for.   
   >    
   >    
   > So...what does that look like?  I just made up a new location for her   
   > to visit.  She'll meet some good friends there.  The Chapter 3 scene   
   > is not the same place as Chapter 1.  But  I just made the new place up   
   > and I'm having trouble conceptualizing what it's even like.  But what   
   > really set me off is that when I started to write the description, it   
   > occurred to me that I always use the same point-of-view and voice to   
   > write things like this and it really doesn't work.   
      
   More thinking out loud about Chapter 3.   
      
   I've rethought the "what needs to happen" plan for Chapter 3 to be more   
   strategic.  E. will still "meet some friends," but before she can connect   
   emotionally, she needs to let her guard down as completely as possible.  I'm   
   going to tell her that this is    
   a short vacation, perhaps just a weekend, from her regular life and she can   
   just lay back and enjoy the luxury.  There's also a plum job for her to do   
   when she feels like it, something that's not much work but depends on the   
   nerdy interests^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^   
   H^H^unique skills that only she has; she'll be a hero when it's finished.  The   
   mentor figure B. will be on hand to oversee things just in case.  (No chance   
   of anything going wrong with that plan, no, sir!  This is all going to go like   
   clockwork...)   
      
   So now, instead of the flat farmlands and boring houses that first popped into   
   my head, I'm putting together an idealized vacation spot for her to drop in   
   to.  It starts as the sort of paradise that's implied in travel brochures and   
   cruise ship packages:    
    warm weather, luxurious lodgings with plentiful servants,  beautiful   
   scenery.  Shopping and other idle-time activities like massages are there too,   
   although as a Midwestern girl E. isn't too comfortable with throwing money   
   around.     
      
   Further in, she'll meet the fascinating local culture and history as well as   
   the good companions you'd like on a perfect vacation.  But those things can't   
   just be made up on the spot; they have to actually BE interesting.  They're   
   the actual background    
   and characters of the story.   
      
   ---   
   One thing about this paradise that's going to keep bugging me, though:  it's   
   always driven me crazy the way that characters in action movies can get dumped   
   in a foreign country with no preparation, and somehow never lack for a place   
   to stay and money to    
   live on.  Now I'm going to be guilty of the same thing.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)