From: zeborah@gmail.com   
      
   Bill Swears  wrote:   
      
   > Aqua's initial insulting tone has been   
   > disregarded in its entirety.  She delivered first insult, perhaps she   
   > should start the apology trail.   
      
   I'm looking at her post now.  There's no insult.   
      
   She expressed irritation at a remark which--  Well, I can tell you why   
   it was so problematic if you really want to know, but I'm not going to   
   try unless you tell me that you really want to know and will really   
   listen and try to understand.  Because you will have to put in a lot of   
   energy to understand it.  And I don't have the energy to do the work of   
   explaining unless you're willing to meet me at what will _feel_, to you,   
   like a lot past halfway.   
      
   But basically, she expressed irritation at an expression of unconscious   
   privilege.  She didn't go out of her way to be polite, but why should   
   she?  I *did* go out of my way to be polite and it didn't do *me* any   
   good.   
      
   (That's the response to the tone argument in a nutshell.  No matter how   
   politely one requests people to be aware that what they're doing is   
   contributing unwittingly to a prejudiced environment, one still gets   
   attacked.)   
      
   Also:  What she said only applied to him.  What he said was insulting to   
   every woman in the world.  These things are not comparable.   
      
   > Has the rehearsal   
   > of feminist issues, LGBT prejudices, or even the need for open   
   > discourse, availed anything?   
      
   Yes.  It's made me see that rasfc is even more full than I thought of   
   people who would rather defend themselves than learn how to stop hurting   
   people.   
      
   Zeborah   
   --   
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   rasfc FAQ:  http://www.lshelby.com/rasfcFAQ.html   
      
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