XPost: alt.arts.poetry.comments, alt.language.poetry.pure-silk, alt.writing
XPost: us.arts.poetry
From: hkt@xnet.com
On Sat, 26 Feb 2005 00:35:41 -0500, "Araik Margarian"
wrote:
>
>"Henrietta K Thomas" wrote in message
>news:pgeu119aotibo6lloc93onjr525bh8ada3@4ax.com...
>> The revision is good, but I also agree with thotpoizn that a different
>> re-write would have been just as good or better.
>
>My first attempt:
>>>His tail waved lightly and his scales shivered
>>>When the fish entered to the first met stream.
>
>
>"thotpoizn's" suggestion:
>>>"His tail waved lightly and his scales shivered
>>>When the fish entered the first met stream."
>
>My edit:
>>>His tail waved lightly and his scales shivered
>>>When the fish entered a casual stream.
>
>I agree too that his version is better.
>I stopped on second one only for sake of meter.
Aha, I see.
>Paradoxically, sometimes rhymes and rhythms are main enemies of poetry.
That is often true.
>Another example is "lice" which appeared only to rhyme with "realized"
>(I don't have it in Armenian original).
Well, it fits the poem very well, and I'm glad you thought of it. It's
difficult to translate from one language into another.
>>>This is civilized society. If you've said a mistake, you could be vindicated
>>>indirectly.
>>>For example, Rob Evans's poem "Metamorphoses".
>>
>> Yes, I notice the two of you are still talking about it.
>He stopped responding.
Maybe he said all he wanted to say.
>> I knew it was about some kind of disaster, but didn't realize he was
>> talking about Hiroshima.
>
>(I finally found a good term to name the powerful all-included conspiracy
around
>me - Invisible Hand)
Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe not.
>I think for 100% that he meant about Sodom story. I think the Invisible Hand
>which regulates everything around me,
>directed him here. Why Usenet should be different from real life?
Usenet is not real life. Usenet is a bunch of strangers from all parts
of the world trying to communicate with each other. It is strange
sometimes, but there really is no conspiracy.
>The good thing
>of Usenet is that it's written.
>Anything can have any interpretation. But there are things that are obvious,
>even if you have to respect the alternative illogical interpretations.
There are lots of things in Usenet that don't make sense. Don't worry
about it, though. Just be yourself and concentrate on your poetry.
>It reminds me a ridiculous story: In my high school literary class we were
>learning a poem of a prominent
>Armenian poet of the beginning of last century. A very soft-spoken and silk
poet
>who died when he was 30 from tuberculosis(which was
>the common cause of death along with massacres at that times as there were not
>yet cars and Stalinian "enemy of people" status and Armenians never commit
>suicide).
>The poem was a very cozy piece in 2 stanzas, in verbatim, it has that "a pale
>virgin
>passed through a meadowland; she murmured gently words of love to the flowers;
>and the flowers poured into my hearth that sweet murmur" . Our textbooks and
the
>teacher were teaching us that this poem he wrote about... failed Russian
>revolution of 1905.... LOL.
Well, that was the 'party line' in those days, and the teacher didn't
have much choice.
>>(And, as he said, he really wasn't trying to
>> 'threaten' you, but just to give you another example of a
>> 'Metamorphoses' poem.
>
>See the above explanation and my response to him in
>news:37i44hF5bvjnhU1@individual.net.
OK.
>> When you think of the poem as disaster, the Biblical story of Sodom
>> readily comes to mind.
>
>
>Exactly. When I read it first time, I would treat it as if it was the direct
>response to my
>poem as "Shut up, droning stranger, how you dare to say you end up in marsh
with
>your
>American dream! We know how to silence you!"
>And I would deserve to that response if only my poem would not appeared on
that
>thread inadvertently.
>But the context of his poem, to not repeat myself you can look at my response
>to it in news:37i44hF5bvjnhU1@individual.net.,
>
>indicates the "touch" of the same Invisible Hand.
I think you are over-reacting because you are not familiar with the
people in these groups. Once you get to know them, they won't seem so
threatening. This works both ways of course: they need time to get to
know you.
>> Other disasters come to mind as well: Nero
>> fiddled while Rome burned. And in many of these instances, it did
>> appear as if the victims deserved the punishment.
>> That is the way life is sometimes.
>
>Yes, Is there a victim that does not deserve the punishment by punisher's
>viewpoint?
>When wolf eats sheep the former doesn't feel any remorse.
>When man "eats" fellow man, the former first dehumanize the victim, to not
>shutter his own self-esteem by "Cannibalistic" guilts.
Absolutely true. But there are other people besides the punishers and
their victims, and it is those other people who decide whether the
'punishment' was justified. And in many cases, it is not.
>That's why, when he put Sodom's image on his poem as an excuse to punishment,
>I challenged him to write with such inspiration about Salem: which would imply
>"we are going to
>punish you as a witch, even knowing well that it is absurd and you didn't have
>done anything wrong."
Except that Rob wasn't trying to 'punish' you. He was actually trying
to communicate, but you didn't realize that. Bear in mind also that Rob
lives in the United Kingdom, not the United States, and probably doesn't
know much, if anything, about the Salem witch trials.
>> The innocent die along with the guilty.
>>
>Willy-nilly two sayings come in mind, Biblical, that "save an innocent and you
>will save the world"
>and by Dostoevsky, that "no good deed in the world worth a shit if it causes
>suffering to an
>innocent child"
>(or something like that, I am citing both from my memory.)
I don't think Dostoevsky would say 'shit', but otherwise, I think your
memory is pretty good on those quotes.
<...>
(about paying individual.net)
>> Yes, so I've heard. It's only $13US, but if that's too much for you,
>> you might look for another free server.
>> I think there's an alt.* group named alt.freenewservers, or something
>> like that, where people talk about free newsservers.
>>
>That's too much for me if considering the fact that I have not any income for
a
>very long time.
>And not too much while I can spend my credit cards yet. I don't feel guilty
>for that as it has been said to me by some knowledgeable people 2 years ago
that
>I will not be allowed to work
>for any company except for a special one designed specially for me. All my
>continous efforts to find employment for this period was subjected to bizarre
[continued in next message]
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