XPost: alt.arts.poetry.comments, alt.surrealism, alt.writing
XPost: us.arts.poetry
From: aramargar1@aol.com
"Henrietta K Thomas" wrote in message
news:fl5821t210m7tvscul1e7c81u3speeatlm@4ax.com...
: ]newsgroups line trimmed to 5 groups]
:
: On Thu, 24 Feb 2005 20:54:38 -0500, "Araik Margarian"
: wrote:
:
: >A Story
: >(Poetic Documentary)
: >
: >Let me try to write in English
: >The language mighty and complex
: >The language that does not believe in tears
: >And is reach and precise as math
: >However my pen is weak to express myself.
:
: Change 'reach' to 'rich'.
:
OK.
: >So I am Araik Margarian
: >A failed immigrant from Armenia
: >Failed in marriage in work in friendships -
: >Who's fault? Who cares. Failed and that's it.
:
: Add comma after 'marriage' and 'work'. Add question mark after 'Who
: cares'.
:
OK.
: >Many tricky treats and sneaky snakes
: >Surround you in this great country
: >Some of them I bypassed with dignity
: >Some of them I tried to compromise with
: >But found compromised myself.
:
: Change 'Surround you' to 'Surround me'. Put a comma after 'with'.
Here I mean to generalize that if you are simpleminded you can get easily lost
and get disoriented when you come from closed society to open society.
:
: >Found fabrications all around myself
: >In virtual plantations
: >Plantators were planting evidence
: >And cash out its fruits.
: >If it were a Sci-Fi it could be wonderful reading
: >And amusing entertainment.
: >But this is real life
: >And I am the loser
: >But this is a mess
: >When messor is hidden
: >And I am targeted
: >Senseless and unfair.
:
: I understand what you're saying about planting evidence, but you'll need
: better words than 'plantators' and 'plantations'.
: The word 'plantations' especially relates to the history of slavery in
: this country, and I know that's not what you're talking about.
:
I think this is good image for me. I am careful to not pass limits of political
correctness
but if my feet hurts should I not try to talk about it in hope to prevent
gangrene
or I must be silent as others have same too or even without foot?
After all, my case is not "involuntary servitude". In contrary, I experienced
generous advancements, even more than I thought I've deserved.
I can compare myself to be forced to early retirement while I just want to
restart my life; I am free
to do whatever I like as long as I don't waste my credit cards.
Rather, my case is involuntary parasitism :)
: Also, I don't think there is any such word as 'messor', so you may need
: a substitute for that as well.
There are cases where I can't find exact word for a situation And I think by
making up it myself
creates more understandable the unusual situation.
Of course anyone can create words and that's not commendable thing.
I try to not be offensive to the norms of language and do it in rare cases so
that it make
sense.
Particularly, I used such things as "pawny poet", "Destinator", "Salemize",
"Salemesque". It's surprising that I could not find the word "Plantator"
in Western and thought that I am using a Russian word.
:
: >I thought I had bright personality
: >But it appears I've been laughed at
: >for my naivety.
: >.
: >
: >And who will believe that I am I
: >When sophisticated network of plantators
: >Portrays me otherwise?
:
: As long as you and God know who you are, that should be all that
: matters.
:
Unfortunately I see that that's not always enough.
: >I still trust the world
: >And didn't lose my faith.
: >And believe the goodness
: >Prevails at the end.
:
: That, I think, is what life is all about -- goodness prevailing against
: the darkness.
:
Yes.
: >I'd laugh myself on this story
: >If only I were not portrayed as antihero
: >But I don't complain
: >I don't want to complain
:
: Don't forget to end each sentence with a period.
:
In this poem I thought to not use punctuation at all but as
I was not consistent I should add commas.
: >Just let me continue
: >What God granted me.
: >Only don't dare to talk
: >On the name of God.
: >God is great, God is really great,
: >He would not create
: >This conscienceless mess.
: >Just tell me, show me my real errors
: >For what I deserve this Chaos.
: >Don't make up, please, don't make up reality-
: >What is then the sense of God and morality?
: >
: >Araik Margarian.
: >09-03-2003.
:
: You asked some very good questions back in 2003.
: Wiser men have asked
: the same questions many, many times. As yet, there are no answers to be
: found.
:
That was time when I started to got into terrible carousel from serious and
otherwise respectable people around me, started from late April or May of that
year.
"There is Damocles sword hanging on your head", "Your life is in trouble",
"Accidents happen. Everything is mind game. There is decision made in
Havens that you must die", ."The Government doesn't want you",
"You will spend all of your life in jail",
"Soon your Gordian knot will be cut", "You and your family are doomed to same
fate as in the movie "Pianist",
"God has a big plan. You must be eliminated in one way or other in order
the plan goes ahead", "You will have Beria's fate",
"Now any day can be your last day. You and your brother have only a week
left. Read this book 'How We Die' " ... and so on, and so on.
And the poem of Rob Evance was as echo to that.
No explanations why.
I never did harm to anyone or any entity or been immoral in such extent that
someone conspire or want me to die.
I don't think many people had such experience. I would lie down for months,
incapable to do anything.
Even to write or go to computer, as when I realize that this Salemesque has
some
plan for me I
thought to go against what they advise me. And 2 of their many "
riendly"advices
were to sit down and write
poems and browse in internet. I thought they had some hidden meanings to that.
So I laid down days and nights,
emptying me from all noises of life and trying to understand what's going on,
what's difference between life and death. And waiting that any day,
any time their sayings will be fulfilled. I left with barebones limbo. And I
realized that there is nothing better than life.
I am a sucker for life. I started to write too, which I didn't done for almost
15 years. And this time my writings were different
as I had before,- mere poetic attempts. my writings become as prayers to God to
return my life back.
And I started to write in English not from "good life" or overly ambitions: I
noticed that they put special twisted
meanings in my Armenian and Russian conversations and writings.
I am going to post some more poems from that horrible period.
I read books trying to find answers to my questions there. That's when I
started
to read Bible, Kafka, Grisham, Salem stories.
I though their plan was to frighten me at that time. But it made me more
awakened, as a new born. More appreciate life and world.
Made me more better and responsible person. More feel attached to God.
[continued in next message]
--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
* Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)
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