XPost: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, alt.atheism, alt.politics.immigration   
   XPost: alt.politics.trump   
   From: NoBody@nowhere.com   
      
   Donald Trump given Secret Service codename "Shithead"   
      
      
      
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   WASHINGTON, DC–Ever since Harry Truman was dubbed "General" in 1945, it's   
   become a well-known tradition that the Secret Service refers to the   
   Commander-in-Chief by a special nickname. President-elect Donald Trump is   
   no exception and according to inside sources, will now be addressed by his   
   new codename, "Shithead".   
      
   Previous Secret Service codenames have included "Renegade" for Barack   
   Obama, "Rawhide" for Ronald Reagan, and "Lancer" for JFK, but perhaps none   
   has captured the essence of its owner quite like "Shithead" does Donald   
   Trump.   
      
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   "This was actually a really easy one," explained White House Communications   
   Deputy Director Sam Copeland. "Usually it takes several rounds of   
   discussion and voting to arrive at the name, but with Trump we sat down   
   with the team and all 17 of us literally blurted it out in unison. We tried   
   to continue spitballing, but there was no point. When you reach the summit   
   of Everest you don't keep climbing, do you?"   
      
   Secret Service agent John Hammersmith says he is equally satisfied with the   
   name. "A good codename should be simple, unambiguous and easy to remember.   
   This fits the bill. Also I've met the man and he's a real shithead."   
      
   If you want to shoot that Shithead, you're gonna have to shoot me first.   
      
       - Secret Service Agent John Hammersmith   
      
   Although Hammersmith admits there is some levity inherent in a presidential   
   codename, the job itself is something he treats with the utmost   
   seriousness. "If you want to shoot that Shithead, you're gonna have to   
   shoot me first."   
      
   Since the decision about Trump's codename, there has been speculation in   
   the blogosphere about its "true" meaning. Some rumours, which have even   
   shown up on several fake news sites, have suggested that the name is an   
   homage to former Virginia governor Albert Shithead, but this is untrue as   
   no such governor has ever existed.   
      
   In fact, as Copeland explains, "the name simply refers to the excrement   
   that seems to exist inside of the President-elect's head whenever he speaks   
   or tweets or makes a decision of any kind. Instead of brains, which you'd   
   expect to be there, he appears to have human waste."   
      
   First Ladies also receive codenames, but Melania Trump has advised the   
   Secret Service that she'll be fine with whatever Michelle Obama's was.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)