XPost: alt.fan.rush-limbaugh, alt.atheism, alt.politics.socialist.nazi   
   XPost: alt.politics.trump   
   From: slutl@whitehouse.org   
      
   Trump threatens bridge to prevent Canadians from visiting country Canadians   
   do not want to visit   
   9 hours ago by James Nicoll ( @ )   
      
   WASHINGTON, D. C. – U. S . President Donald Trump has threatened to halt   
   the opening of a international bridge linking Windsor and Detroit,   
   excluding Canadians from country that they have absolutely no interest in   
   travelling to.   
      
   The Gordie Howe International Bridge, under construction since 2018, will   
   stretch across the US/Canada border. However, Trump weighed in on the   
   bridge, which is set to open later this year:   
      
   "As everyone knows, the Country of Canada has treated the United States   
   very unfairly for decades, " Trump posted late into the night to his Truth   
   Social platform. "But imagine, Canada is building a massive bridge between   
   Ontario and Michigan. That is why I am immediately halting the bridge   
   opening, to stop all these Canadians from coming here to vacation, as I   
   assume they are currently doing. "   
      
   Reflecting on the President's further threat that he is stopping the bridge   
   opening due to Canadian trade relations with China, who Trump claims will   
   "permanently eliminate The Stanley Cup, " Canadian Prime Minister Mark   
   Carney responded with the longest, most exhausted sigh. The PM then offered   
   a statement:   
      
   "Canada paid for the bridge, the bridge used US steel, it's co-owned by   
   Michigan, and Trump himself enthusiastically approved the bridge during his   
   first term– Do I have to call him a hegemon again? "   
      
   Meanwhile, Canadians from coast to coast have reacted to the news that they   
   will no longer be able to travel to the scenic paradise of industrial   
   Michigan.   
      
   "I was already boycotting the United States since they stopped spelling   
   'colour' with a 'U', but this is an even better reason, " noted Arthur Chu   
   of Burnaby, BC.   
      
   "I guess I'll just have to stay here in Canada for my 18th rewatch of   
   Heated Rivalry, " remarked Pamela Hersh of St. John's, NFLD.   
      
   Sally Edwards of Gatineau adds, "Gosh, I'd really hoped to be abused by   
   power-mad border guards before witnessing ethnic cleansing and extra-   
   judicial homicides up close and in person, but it's not like the   
   Canadian/US border isn't literally the longest international border in the   
   world, with hundreds of alternative crossings so I guess I will just stay   
   home. "   
      
   "Wait, they elected WHO as president? ? " responded the ghost of Canadian   
   hockey legend Gordie Howe.   
      
   In a related story the American Bridge Troll Association has distanced   
   itself from Trump's threats to cancel the Gordie Howe International Bridge.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)