From: logical23x@gmail.com   
      
   Proxy Recruitment -    
   controlling or abusing another person by manipulating other people into   
   “doing the dirty work”   
      
      
   Top 100 Traits   
   Proxy Recruitment   
      
      
   Definition:   
      
   Proxy Recruitment - A way of controlling or abusing another person by   
   manipulating other people into unwittingly backing “doing the dirty work”   
      
   Puppet-Making   
      
   Sometimes attempts to control someone or abuse them are fairly obvious, with   
   Proxy Recruitment however, manipulation of others is used to achieve the same   
   aim in a highly secretive way.   
      
   Friends, colleagues, or family members may be drawn into the perpetrator’s   
   game plan through false accusations of abuse, smear campaigns or distortion   
   campaigns, and these people are then encouraged to take up the perpetrator’s   
   cause against the    
   victim.   
      
   Flying Monkeys   
      
   In an iconic scene from The Wizard of Oz, the Wicked Witch sends a troupe of   
   Flying Monkeys in pursuit of Dorothy. The term Flying Monkeys has evolved to   
   represent any proxy, recruited by an abusive person to assist them  in   
   controlling their victim.   
      
   What it Looks Like   
      
   A woman asks a marriage therapist to talk to her husband about his   
   non-existent “problems with infidelity”.   
   A mother seeks support from siblings, her spouse, friends and neighbors over   
   untrue claims her daughter has “behavior problems”   
   A teenager falsely tells his sister that other people are saying horrible   
   things about her.   
   A teenager files a false police report about one of her parents abusing her.   
   A leader or manager in an organization directs his subordinates to ostracize   
   one of their colleagues.   
   How it Works   
      
   Proxy recruitment can be an extremely powerful way of establishing control   
   over another person. It forces the victim into a defensive posture -   
   justifying themselves or denying false claims to friends, family, neighbors,   
   acquaintances and authority    
   figures. It often attempts to reverse roles in the eyes of others - casting   
   the abuser as the victim and portraying the victim as the real abuser. It also   
   deflects attention away from the abuser and provides cover or justification   
   for further abuse to    
   occur.   
      
   Proxy Recruitment is much easier if the abuser assumes a position of   
   authority. Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram demonstrated that   
   people will often perform an irrational act if instructed to do so by an   
   authority figure, even if that act is    
   unkind or cruela to another person.   
      
   Proxy recruitment isn’t just a tactic used by people with Personality   
   Disorders. It is a universal reaction to recruit allies when engaged in a   
   conflict situation – however when it involves misrepresenting the truth or   
   causing deliberate harm, it is    
   a form of toxic and abusive behavior.   
      
   What NOT to do:   
      
   Don't believe everything you are told by a person who suffers from a   
   personality disorder. They may just be telling you something false as a means   
   to an end.   
   Don't react quickly to surprising news. You have the prerogative to think for   
   as long as you want and to react how and when you want.   
   Don't lose your temper or lose control of your emotions. You can't control   
   other people but you always have control over your own words and actions and   
   that is where you have the most power.   
   Don't sit still and allow someone to rain down on you insults or criticism in   
   the name of another person. If the room is a painful place to sit, then it is   
   perhaps a good time to go sit in a different room.   
   Don't make promises, commitments or contracts that will hurt your relationship   
   with people whom you trust, you love, people whose company you enjoy, old   
   friends, and trusted relatives. No-one who truly loves you will want to take   
   healthy, supportive,    
   positive relationships away from you.   
   What TO do:   
      
   Objectively verify anything you are told before acting on it.   
   Keep in touch with those you love and trust and tell them about any problems   
   or issues you are hiving.   
   Maintain a healthy balance between family, friends, work and play. You need   
   them all in the right measure to keep a healthy balance.   
   Politely refuse to engage in Divide and Conquer without starting a fight about   
   it. Remove yourself from a conversation if it is an unhealthy or dysfunctional   
   one.   
   Maintain your self-control. This is how you keep your power and demonstrate   
   that you are not going to be manipulated like that.   
      
   http://outofthefog.website/top-100-trait-blog/2015/11/4/proxy-recruitment   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)