From: logical23x@gmail.com   
      
   NotYourPlaything   
   because human degradation should not be entertainment~   
       
   Ambient Abuse: Gaslight Effect and the Diabolical Personality   
      
   *This week has been a marathon of activity in which I have accomplished much   
   but produced little in terms of writing. Continuing ed., a precarious work   
   schedule, and Spring Break for two of my kids have made the challenges of   
   deadlines even more    
   difficult to meet. My intention was to post a piece regarding Borderline   
   Personality Disorder by week’s end. Unfortunately, that post must wait until   
   Monday for completion. (Don’t ask… it’s complicated.) However, as a   
   precursor to my up-coming    
   post on BDP, I have decided to re-post a short and to-the-point piece that I   
   wrote over a year ago regarding a manipulative tactic used by emotional   
   abusers referred to as “The Gaslight Effect.” My hope is that the reader   
   will gain not only knowledge    
   of this diabolical technique but also gain effective tools of response to   
   combat pervasive psychological warfare perpetrated by those who wish to   
   control them and do them significant  harm.   
      
   original publication date October 17, 2011 @ 1:00pm EST   
      
   “Gaslighting” is clinically defined as “intimidation or psychological   
   abuse in which false information is deliberately presented to the victim,   
   making them doubt their own memory and/or perception of an event or events.”   
   The most diabolical and    
   deceitful personalities use this tactic in their daily lives to get their way   
   and avoid responsibility at the expense and to the detriment of their victims.   
   Power relationships are hot-beds, if you will, for this out-right evil tool of   
   hidden    
   manipulation which thrives on the aggressor dominating and asserting power,   
   coupled with the victim acquiescing to their demands and giving them power.   
   Although, traditionally seen in male/female romantic relationships,   
   Gaslighting can, and often does    
   occur in parent-to-child relationships with mothers the common perpetrators.    
   Additionally, this dynamic can be found in female-to-female relationships   
   often described as “frenemy” (of frienemy, if you prefer) relationships in   
   which the self-   
   professed Alpha female dominates all others for personal gain. Something akin   
   to the movie Mean Girls likely just sprung to mind which is a somewhat   
   accurate example of the dynamic that exists in such power relationships.   
      
   Where did we acquire the term Gaslighting Effect? From the 1944 movie,   
   Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman in which Boyer’s   
   character tries to drive “insane” his wife played by Bergman. Relative to   
   nothing, it should be noted that    
   this version of the film was a remake of the 1940 film of the same name   
   starring Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard. The original film was an adaptation   
   of the play “Gas Light” written in 1938 by Patrick Hamilton. Personally, I   
   believe the later    
   version of the film with Boyer and Bergman tells a better story and better   
   defines the hidden manipulative behavior in question than the original film. I   
   strongly recommend to the reader that if you have not seen the film, then go   
   now – after you    
   finish reading this, of course – and rent it from Netflix for a better   
   understanding of the behavior in action.   
      
   “Enough background!” you say? “What exactly is Gaslighting? What does   
   the tactic entail?” My hope for the reader in this next section is that it   
   elicits at least one, if not many, “Eureka!” moments as perhaps each of   
   you recognize that you    
   are in one or more of these power relationships and that, no, you aren’t   
   crazy! The gaslighter’s over all goal is to modify evidence then falsify   
   information for the purpose of making their intended target(s) question their   
   own recollection, memory,    
   analysis, and perception of events and/or behaviors. In other words, they   
   reject reality and substitute it with their own for personal gain and   
   entertainment. In short, they enjoy inflicting psychological pain onto others   
   and will stop at nothing to    
   psychologically abuse their targets in order to get their own way. So what is   
   it that they do?  The primary behaviors are listed as follows:   
      
   Deny existence of an event even when presented with evidence (Denial);   
   Deliberately block their victims from source data (Compartmentalizing);   
   Deny behaviors by immediately putting their targets on the defensive   
   (Deflection);   
   Insist that their targets are imagining things (Chronic Invalidation);   
   Shame their targets for expressing very real hurts (Minimization);   
   Insist that others are the source of their poor choices (Blaming);   
   Mentally abuse their targets with criticism veiled as “advice”   
   (Depreciation);   
   (Usually) must have the last word (again, Chronic Invalidation);   
   Force agreement by their targets to accept their false reality (Domination);   
   Engage in gossip in order to hurt and control their targets (Humiliation);   
   Has the ability to “sell ice to an Eskimo” meaning that they are   
   persistent and manipulative enough to convince someone to invest in something   
   that they could receive for free (Insincerity).   
   The above described behaviors are perpetrated in concert and incessantly by   
   ambient abusers, always. At their very core, those who Gaslight others are   
   accomplished con artists who know how to select, isolate, and then stealthily   
   psychologically abuse    
   their targets into submission for their own personal gain. Gaslighters are   
   bullies who often hide behind a good-guy (or girl) persona and have no   
   hesitation about portraying themselves as a “victim” to be pitied for the   
   purpose of maintaining control    
   over others. They are utterly anti-social as evidenced by their persistent   
   choices in violating the rights of others. They are never to be trusted. Let   
   me be perfectly clear before I go any further that within a parent-to-child   
   gaslighting dynamic the    
   child has little choice but to comply with their ambient abuser so the term   
   “enabling” does not apply in that context.  However, within peer-to-peer   
   relationships, enabling drives the behavior forward and does nothing to stop   
   the relentless abuse.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)