From: rsw@therandymon.com   
      
   On 2016-05-16, JAB  wrote:   
   > Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element   
   > yet known to science.   
   >   
   > The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant   
   > neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,   
   > giving it an atomic mass of 312.   
   >   
   > These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which   
   > are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called   
   > peons.   
   >   
   > Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can   
   > be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes   
   > into contact.   
   >   
   > A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would   
   > normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to   
   > complete.   
   >   
   > Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years.   
   >   
   > It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a   
   > portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.   
   >   
   > In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,   
   > since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,   
   > forming isodopes.   
   >   
   > This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to   
   > believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a   
   > critical concentration.   
   >   
   > This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.   
   >   
   > When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an   
   > element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it   
   > has half as many peons but twice as many morons!!   
      
   Is this ancient?  Something tells me this dates back to the early days of   
   Usenet.  Nonetheless, it's fucking brilliant.  And timely, these days in   
   America.  Typically you'd look around here and be disappointed, then console   
   yourself that the upcoming election is a chance to fix the situation.  Not   
   so much, this time around.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)