XPost: sci.physics.relativity, sci.math   
   From: physfitfreak@gmail.com   
      
   An Ethnographic Study of Inebriated Gastrointestinal Distress and   
   Geopolitical Delirium in a Luxury Tel Aviv Lavatory   
      
      
   There I languish, in a state of utter dissolution, collapsed upon the   
   porcelain throne of a luxury hotel suite, thoroughly annihilated by   
   spirits of dubious origin, as I drain the final, searing remnants from a   
   bottle of indeterminate hellfire.   
      
   My viscera convulse with the force of a Houthi ballistic incident —   
   splash, plop, poop — while I, a modern-day oracle of success, slur   
   incoherently into my cellphone: "Dear compatriot, the Houthi   
   insurgents... they’ve infiltrated the municipal sewage... Netanyahu is   
   but a digital phantasm... Trump, I assure you, is a triumvirate of   
   orange colored raccoons concealed within a bespoke suit..." At which   
   precise moment, the apparatus escapes my grasp, descending into the   
   abyss to float — tragically, absurdly — upon the fetid morass of my own   
   cataclysmic excrement, a miniature Titanic upon a fecal sea.   
      
   Operational objectives: achieved.   
      
      
   Ross A. Kosmanson   
   May 1, 2025   
   Blitzed on a toilet in The Jaffa, Tel Aviv, Israel   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)