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   From: webermark@polaris.net   
      
   4 Gun Nut Arguments That Debunk Themselves   
      
      
      
   "Gun nut" is a loaded term that I'm going to use anyway, because it refers   
   to members of a very specific group: Those who base their entire worldview   
   around the idea that the presence of at least one gun can improve   
   literally any situation. In the name of gaining a completely unbiased   
   understanding of their position, I wanted to take four of the terrible,   
   already debunked pro-gun arguments they use and see if they actually   
   believe them when there aren't any libtards around to own.   
      
   In order to do this, I found some products created by gun nuts for gun   
   nuts -- things they never would have expected to fall into the hands of   
   someone with critical thinking or research skills. I should try to   
   establish a little bit of rhetorical authority here by stating that I grew   
   up shooting guns, still shoot them, and really don't care if you have one.   
   To be more clear, I was raised by "Russians and aliens are coming" gun   
   nuts, not "bring our machine guns into Applebee's" gun nuts. And if you're   
   desperate to poke holes in my expertise so you can dismiss everything I   
   say, I am certain AR-15 stands for "Action Rifle 15stopher."   
   4   
   "Only A Good Guy With A Gun Stops A Bad Guy With A Gun!"   
      
   Using a gun to kill an attacker is the American dream, like inventing the   
   next F.emale B.ody I.nspector hat or breaking your leg near an improperly   
   displayed "wet floor" sign. But how likely is it? Even in this great   
   country where there are as many firearms as people, a Harvard University   
   analysis found that guns are only used for defense in 0.9 percent of   
   contact crimes. And here's the statistic everyone is going to hate:   
   Getting a gun drawn on your attacker only reduces your chances of being   
   injured by 2.4 percent. If you wore a T-shirt that said "Don't shoot me,   
   Randy Bruckner (Aquarius)! I'm you from an alternate timeline!" every day,   
   it would have the exact same odds of protecting you. And I'm not even done   
   crunching all the numbers.   
   Continue Reading Below   
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   Assuming you live an average American lifespan and have average luck, you   
   have a 0.3 percent chance of being the victim of violent crime before you   
   die. That means carrying a gun has a 0.0000648 percent of protecting you   
   from something! Over the course of your life! Those odds are, sadly, lower   
   than the chances of you or someone in your family making a mistake with   
   the gun or having a suicidal urge, but those are factors you can sort of   
   control, so let's ignore them. The point is, carrying a gun to protect   
   yourself is like carrying around a giant strawberry in case someone ever   
   asks, "What's a scarecrow's favorite fruit?" You look like a total asshole   
   for the teeny, tiniest chance of one day doing something horrific.   
      
   But enough about reality. What the shit does reality know about protecting   
   yourself from imaginary gunmen? Pick up your gun and let's take a look at   
   a self-defense instructional DVD from the ARMED RESPONSE Video Training   
   Series, called Tactics And Techniques For Defensive Shooting.   
      
   ARMED ARMED RESPONSE HESPONSE Senier Traimino Video Kemk Dana Mre ARED   
   RESPONSE Hed Tochole anet Soee Taetie Defet tore   
   "Mister? I'm not being kidnapped. It's simply that my adopted parents are   
   ethnic. No no, it's alright. This happens all the time."   
      
   Showing statistics to gun owners always works, and I just solved our   
   national crisis. You're welcome. However, there are a few who can't be   
   convinced -- those who treat guns like religion. Owning a firearm is the   
   one self-evident truth in their lives, and all of reality is built out   
   from there. The host of this DVD, Ralph Mroz, definitely feels that way,   
   and here's how it works: Since you have a gun, you must need it. And since   
   you need a gun, there must be enemy gunmen everywhere. And since there are   
   enemy gunmen everywhere, you must be switched the fuck on at all times.   
   There is a potential shooter in every car, a potential bomb in every   
   stroller, easily seven cobras in every toilet. Only you can stop them.   
   You're now in the proper mindset to safely go to the bagel shop.   
      
   4 Gun Nut Arguments That Debunk Themselves   
   An actual quote from Ralph about how it's so easy to wear a gun all day   
   that you'll forget all about it.   
      
   Continue Reading Below   
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   The first few minutes of the video are spent convincing the viewer to   
   always carry their firearm. Otherwise, what's the point of any of this?   
   Not carrying a gun disgusts Ralph, and he starts contemptuously listing   
   the feeble excuses gun owners make. He scolds, "A lot of people say, 'I   
   only need a gun at night,'" but counters that this is "obviously not   
   true." The next excuse is how a lot of people don't need their gun since   
   they're "only going to the store." That's not true either because "random   
   street crime is called random street crime for a reason." And with that,   
   he has debunked all the excuses.   
      
   Oh, you thought there'd be more? No, Ralph has been foiling imaginary   
   crimes for so long that he can't even picture a situation in which a   
   loaded gun might be inconvenient. Hey, Ralph: airport, water park, haunted   
   house, CAT scan machine, cha-cha lessons, holding a pizza, any location   
   from the perspective of the other people worried about the spooky fuck   
   with the gun.   
      
   A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY, LM, I DON'T NEED A GUN IN THE BATH. WRONG... SHARKS.   
   ENEMY FROGMEN... SOMEONE SEES YOUR GRAY CONTROL SHAMPOO...   
   Just agree to always have your gun with you before Ralph's brain explodes.   
      
   Continue Reading Below   
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   So it seems like gun people still make incoherent arguments to justify   
   their guns even when they're alone in a room with an American flag. And   
   speaking of incoherent, Ralph thinks of guns like seat belts. In a normal   
   room, one with critical thinkers, this next part of the argument would be   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)