My wallet is going to divorce me, or kill me. :)

I've had 2 trips to an area Emergency Room in 4 days, and while 
surgery did not result from either visit, both were rather 
stressful.

Last Thursday night, I started experiencing chills, fever, nausea
(but no vomiting), moderate to severe abdominal pain, and 
diarrhea. Having taken a Phenagren (anti-nausea medicine), I
was too groggy to drive to the Emergency Room, so I called the
ambulance. I didn't know if it was food poisoning, the flu,
gastrointeritis, or appendicitis. They drew blood, got a urine
sample, and did a CT scan. It turns out that the white blood
count, and my appendix were OK...but I had caught the Nerovirus
(a strain of viral gastrointeritis) that was going around. I did
get shots for the flu, pneumonia, shingles, and tetnaus in 2012.

Two nights later (Saturday), I started experiencing testicular
pain. It'd start as a dull throb, then moderately ramp up to a
peak, the ebb back off. The "max" was a 4 on Saturday night,
but increased to a 7 on Sunday. It got so where I was having
attacks every 1 to 2 minutes. This time I drove myself to the
Emergency Room (I had 3 attacks enroute, and at least 6 attacks
after I got there). 

After a long wait, they got me into a "room" (I use the term 
loosely...there was just a gurney, a cabinent with gowns, and 
drawers of supplies...no other outlets, medical instruments, 
etc.). 

It turns out that I had a classic case of epididymitis...the 
epididymis surrounding the testicles were inflamed...but it
wasn't torsion of the testicle...that would require emergency
surgery, as the testicle could die from lack of blood flow to
it.

The first question I was asked was if I had been having
"unprotected sex". I told them that except for masturbation
on occasion (which they said could help ease the discomfort
of epididymytis), I had only had sexual intercourse with one
woman in my life, my late wife...and the last time that took
place was on the night she died nearly 6 years ago. I never
dreamed that "sex could kill you". The last thing we said to
each other was "I love you", and I still get tears in my eyes
nearly 6 years after her death, whether I type it, or talk
about it.

A bit of a conflict of interest, as it were, exists, though...
They said "no sex until the medication (Doxycycline) is done
(which will be a month), but yet (as noted above) "masturbation
was OK". I have an appointment with my PCP Tuesday afternoon,
and "he's going to have fun with me". 

After I had my vasectomy done just before I got married in
2003 (since a severe case of the chicken pox back in 1980 
put me in the hospital for a week, out of work and school for 
2 months, and sterilized me), the doctor said "no sex for a 
week"...I only made it 4 days. I had to keep "Frozen Peas" on
the scrotal area, to keep the swelling down...my wife said 
"you'll never look at frozen peas the same way again". She
was mad that the urologist didn't "save the fragments of the
vas deferens that were cut away" for her. She said "she would
have been a doctor, but calculus messed things up". 

This time, I was advised to get some OTC Ibuprofen tablets
(anti-inflammatory) to help with the pain. I'd prefer NOT to
take the Hydrocodone or Oxycodone (given after surgeries for
kidney stones and removal of two toes off each foot, due to
freak accidents), because those are so addictive...not to
mention that I'm hypersensitive to anesthetics, pain meds,
etc., and once I take them, I'm asleep in short order, or
groggy the rest of the day.

The good news is that I didn't need surgery in either case.
The bad news is that my wallet may need a transfusion. 

Daryl

... Either this man's dead, or my watch is stopped. -Groucho
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