Hi again, Richard!  This is a continuation of my previous message to you:

RW>  [...] this guy was a bit too intense for most junior
RW>  high situations.


          Sounds familiar.  I taught theory & expected my students to work
with me to produce the best sound we could achieve together even though my
principal said "Just keep 'em playing... that's what they want at this age!" 
I was never as popular as the band teacher at his former school.  But a few
years later one of my ex-students told me, with some amazement, that the kids
in his band class at senior high who hadn't been in my class had no experience
with 5/4.  Another followed in my footsteps & eventually became a band teacher
himself.  AFAIC one can't be sure who will become a professional musician or a
teacher or a staunch supporter of the arts later on & I owe it to my students
to do my best....  :-)



RW>  HE was truly one of those musician's musician types,


          Some folks end up as teachers only after they realize they can't
make a living as professional musicians...



RW>  played half a dozen different instruments, and all of
RW>  them very well, etc.


          ... OTOH, unlike many of my classmates who were enrolled in the
music department rather than the education department, he seems to have taken
courses of this nature seriously!  I can play half a dozen instruments too,
but I don't necessarily play all of them well or have the nerve to do it in
public....  ;-)



AH>  A great lesson for all concerned.  :-))

RW>  YEp, and part of that was his admission that he should
RW>  have expected that I'd work out an alternative signaling
RW>  arrangement with my neighbors and been able to put two and
RW>  two together.  I think he was a bit disappointed that his
RW>  wife didn't correlate one action with another.


          Perhaps he accepted her interpretation without question...
regardless of how well she knew each individual student and/or how much she
knew about the technical aspects of conducting... because she was his wife. 
Dallas & I have a friend in his eighties who, while he himself has remained
single, repeats a lot of the grumbling he hears from another person about wife
#2 with no distinction between fact & opinion.  Although we haven't met wife
#2 we have known this man since he was married to wife #1.  We can both see
why he'd be difficult to live with.  Our friend once said as much but clearly
idolized wife #1... [wry grin].

          I believe a lot of otherwise intelligent adults who are old enough
to have fully developed prefrontal lobes (or whatever) tend to make errors of
this nature fairly often when their nearest & dearest are involved.  As a
teacher, I know I must be objective in my evaluation... and I know I must
provide adequate data to support whatever conclusion(s) I arrive at.  Your
teacher probably knew that too.  As a wife & mother, however, I often find
myself expected in various social situations to keep other women occupied so
their menfolk can talk freely about the common interests which brought them
together with Dallas & me.  While I don't know the woman you've alluded to it
wouldn't surprise me if her husband chose her at least in part because she was
operating on a different level, then overestimated her ability to understand
his concerns sometimes.  But I think it is to his credit that he was
educable.  I'm also taking into account when these events probably occurred. 
Years ago, the average schoolteacher had no training or experience WRT special
needs.  Your teacher may have been a pioneer, just as Dallas & I were, with
very few positive role models & with very little support.

          Reading between the lines... I gather you & I are about the same
age. As it happens, our own daughter attended the elementary school a girl I
babysat during my late teens wasn't allowed to attend because she was legally
blind.  A lot has changed since then.  I reckon you encountered some of the
same problems we've encountered, however.  The idea that folks who are
"different" want to do what they're doing is still new & unfamiliar to many
other folks.  And we often find ourselves battling misconceptions such as the
idea that everybody who uses a wheelchair is exactly like whoever else gets
most of the publicity... (sigh).




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
 * Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)