From: ibshambat@gmail.com   
      
   A common situation that keeps cropping up is that of people falling in love   
   with people whose families are hostile to theirs.   
      
   One semi-solution to this has been found in Romeo and Juliet. I regard Romeo   
   and Juliet to not just be a play about romantic love, but rather a metaphor   
   for Europe’s transformation from feudalism to civilization. Through the   
   lovers’ sacrifice the    
   families realize the pointlessness of their feud and come together to work on   
   building a civilization. This happened during Renaissance; and the result has   
   been a continent turning from one of the worst places in the world to the   
   lasting centrepiece of a    
   great civilization – a great civilization that continues to dominate the   
   world to this day.   
      
   Another semi-solution has been found in Huckleberry Finn. The feuding families   
   kill one another off, while the lovers swim the river to build a life for   
   themselves. This thinking has been a major influence in American art and   
   American thought, and it    
   continues to influence many people around the world to this day.   
      
   The problem with the first arrangement is that the lovers get sacrificed. The   
   problem with the second arrangement – besides the families killing each   
   other off – is that it results in rootlessness, in which the partners are   
   disconnected from the    
   people from whom they have come. When there are problems in the relationship,   
   there is nobody to support them. Often the love turns bad, and people have   
   nowhere to turn to. Meanwhile the parents lose touch with the children whom   
   they have raised. So we    
   see many very unhappy people.   
      
   I propose a better solution than either of the above. I propose a solution   
   that benefits both the lovers and their families. The solution that I propose   
   is for partners to get together and bring their families together, so that   
   both the love and the    
   family can persist.   
      
   I have seen this done successfully – for example by my former wife and her   
   new husband. But also from her example I have seen a situation in which her   
   former boyfriend’s mother poisoned him against her and brought her to treat   
   her like dirt, however    
   hard she was working on the relationship and however much she was doing for   
   him, which was a great deal. Sometimes families’ influence can get   
   poisonous. Sometimes also the lover’s influence can be poisonous against the   
   family, as when a partner    
   convinces the other partner that their family are trash. However when this   
   works, this works wonders. And it does not only work wonders for the lovers.   
   It works wonders for the civilization. It creates genuine, lasting peace in   
   which both family love and    
   romantic love can triumph. And this, I regard as the full solution.   
      
   I expect such situations to keep cropping up. I do not expect human nature to   
   change, and I do not expect people to cease having either family relationships   
   or romantic attractions. So this is the solution that I propose. Let lovers   
   get together and    
   bring their families together.   
      
   Allow both family love and romantic love to triumph.   
      
   And, by doing this on a large scale, do much to help create real peace.   
      
   The 1960s ideal of peace and love has been largely discredited. But here is a   
   practical way in which this ideal can actually be achieved. Allow romantic   
   love to persist, while also maintaining family relationships. Bring families   
   together so that they    
   can coexist peacefully. Allow both romantic love and family values. And thus   
   create a wholesome and beautiful life.   
      
   I am not saying that this would be easy. I have listed some of the possible   
   problems. However it is a valid thing to strive for. And I hope that many   
   people around the world take this path.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)