From: ibshambat@gmail.com   
      
   A person is more likely to do something if it is presented as something he   
   values than if it is presented as something that he does not. If cleanliness   
   is associated with thoroughness and excellence, which are virtues, then a   
   person is more likely to    
   pursue it than if it is associated with anal retentiveness, which is a flaw.   
   It therefore makes sense to explain such things in a way that is positive and   
   reasonable rather than in a way that is bullying or controlling. And if one   
   explains such things in    
   a way that is bullying or controlling, then one risks alienating the person   
   against them for a long time.   
      
   When I was 12, I was in a summer camp, and kids were trying to get me to   
   behave their way by telling me that if I did not I would get beaten up. This   
   was precisely the wrong thing to do. It lead to a power struggle.   
   Consideration is a virtue, but    
   bullying is not. If you try to instill consideration through bullying, then   
   consideration is identified with bullying, and what is in fact a virtue is   
   seen as a part of the problem.   
      
   Similarly we see people attempting to get their way with their children by   
   telling them that if they do not they will suffer consequences or die. That   
   once again is precisely the wrong thing to do. The child sees bullying   
   behavior and he correctly rebels    
   against it. And even when one is right – as for example if one wants the   
   child to work hard or to act ethically – these virtues are associated in the   
   child's mind with the bullying behavior, and that sets off a struggle that   
   leads to these virtues    
   being fought against.   
      
   The correct solution is to use righful arguments. It is to explain why certain   
   actions are rightful and why they benefit others and oneself. But if you are   
   being a bully, you are doing precisely the wrong thing. Once again, you are   
   identifying virtues    
   with flaws, and that leads to these virtues being fought against because they   
   are identified with bullying behavior. This results in rebellion on the part   
   of anyone who correctly stands against bullying and aggression. And then the   
   virtues themselves get    
   a bad name, and we see the kinds of people who are naturally idealistic and   
   rightfull against such things as bullying and aggression becoming rebels.   
      
   So we see any number of people raised in WASP culture deciding that the WASP   
   culture is the root of all evil. It is in no way such a thing. There are many   
   that are right with the WASP culture. However in any culture, if you are   
   teaching your values    
   through bullying and aggression, you will make rebels of people who are   
   against bullying and aggression. And in America we have seen such people go to   
   places such as the academia and foment youth revolts against the WASP culture   
   under the names of such    
   things as political correctness, Third Wave feminism and religion-hating   
   ideologies. If you teach your values with violence, bullying and threats, you   
   will associate your values in the child's mind with violence, bullying and   
   threats. And then the youth    
   who are against such things, identifying your values with this misconduct,   
   will revolt against your values, even on matters on which your values are   
   right.   
      
   In my case, I have had to search long, far and hard to figure out what   
   actually is rightful and what is not. One example we see toward what I speak   
   of is Nietzsche. He saw many things wrong and correctly named them, but he   
   also attacked a number of    
   things that were right. He spoke against “small considerations.” That is   
   wrong. But when the real virtue such as consideration is taught as part of the   
   same mindset as any number of actual wrongs that Nietzche correctly   
   confronted, it is very easy to    
   make the error of conflating it with these wrongs. So if you teach your values   
   incorrectly, expect any number of people to revolt against these values.   
      
   The correct way to teach one's values, once again, is to explain why they are   
   there. That way you are engaging the mind of the person, and you are making   
   the mind your friend rather than your enemy. At which point the mind then   
   picks up on these values    
   and correctly applies them and communicates them to others. And then we run a   
   much lesser risk of rebellion and a much greater chance of raising wholesome   
   people who practice correct concepts of right and wrong.   
      
   https://sites.google.com/site/ilyashambatthought   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)